Calvin, One Year!

To my rainbow baby,

Today you are one year old! Today we celebrate you being a part of our family for the last year. You have brought so much happiness into our family - I couldn't imagine life without you!

You have learned so much this month! You're walking!!! You started taking your first steps a few weeks ago and were cruising around furniture really well, but wouldn't let go and walk on your own. Then on your birthday, you decided it was time to walk everywhere! We went to Anna's school family dance that night and you walked all over that gym, it was so cute!

You've started imitating a lot, especially animal sounds. You know dog, pig, cow and duck on your own, but also imitate monkey, bear/tiger/lion, and owl. You love looking at your animal books - it's really the only time you'll sit still.

You're also absorbing so much by listening to us talk. You're learning how to give things when someone says, "Can I have that?" and you are learning how to put things back (not just take them out).

You've also learned how to stand in your high chair and need to be watched like a hawk while you're in there. You are going to be a handful over this next year... I can feel it. Anna loved to climb (and still does), but I have a feeling you're going to try to get into everything and climb.

You are still a good eater, although your huge appetite comes and goes now. You still nurse a 4-5 times a day on the weekend and a few times a day during the week - usually after naps and before you go to bed for the night. I want to continue nursing at least through flu season in hopes of keeping you as healthy as possible. That means I'll probably continue pumping for at least a few more weeks - never thought I'd say that, but it's worth it. You no longer take bottles, but take pumped milk and whole milk from a cup. You still have only 4 teeth, although I could have sworn you were getting more this month the way you've been a little extra fussy... not yet though. Your nighttime sleep is still great and you typically take 2 naps a day, but sometimes an extra catnap is needed in the evening. At your one year appointment, you weighed 18lbs 11oz and are 29.92 inches tall.

Things you love: books, animals, Anna, Archie, singing Wheels on the Bus & trying to do the motions, when someone chases you and says, "I'm gonna get ya!", The Office theme song (you dance every time), your paci, being outside, climbing

Things you dislike: getting your diaper changed, when I don't pick you up, falling down when you're walking, when things get taken away from you (we're better at tricking you now that you know what it means when we ask if we can have something).

This has been an exhausting year for me, but also so, so fulfilling! I never knew how much love I could have for my kids, and it's just the best thing ever. I'm looking forward to this summer with you and Anna!
Love you, Bubba!

Calvin, 11 Months

He was not too happy about laying down for his picture this time.

Bubba,
Oh my goodness, how can you be eleven months old today?! This last month we celebrated your first Christmas(es). You were very lucky and received lots of diapers, new outfits, some jammies, and a few new toys and books. You enjoyed ripping the paper and playing with your cousins.

This month (well, actually the day you turned ten months old) you learned how to stand up in your crib. Now pretty much every time I go to get you up, you're standing. Your legs are getting so much stronger. You pull up on everything and cruise around furniture a lot faster than before. Just within the last week or so you've been getting brave and try to stand on your own. You can only make it a few seconds, but it's a start and you are so proud of yourself.

You've learned so much this month, too! You can now say "uh-oh" (learned just a couple days before Christmas), you play peek-a-boo when we say "Where's Calvin?", you give high-fives, and you are starting to understand so much more. You look around when we ask you where Sissy is, or Archie, or your new stuffed animal dog Frankie. You also know what it means when we say, "Go get a book". We're working on a little bit of signing and you inconsistently can sign "more" and "eat" (the most important ones!). It's been so fun this month because you've become so much more interactive.

Your feeding has changed dramatically this month as well. You've learned how to drink from a sippy cup (do the best with the 360). We started with water and you weren't really interested & couldn't figure it out. Then I tried whole milk and shortly after you caught on. While I was on winter break, I was giving you whole milk whenever you'd eat in your high chair and you did great with it. Now that I'm back to work, you drink my milk with your meals, and once that's gone you take whole milk. Thankfully, you don't seem to care about the switch which is good.
Also, we're done nursing overnight. After the holidays calmed down, I made the decision to stop nursing you overnight. With you getting so much food and milk during the day, there really is no need to nurse overnight anymore and you've been doing SO well! You'll sleep all night long, occasionally fussing, but you're able to get yourself back to sleep within about 5 minutes - it's been wonderful!

With all of this food and milk during the day, you're definitely gaining weight. You had your follow-up appointment from your November ear infection the day after Christmas and you weighed 17lbs 7oz then. You're finally in 12 month clothes (some are getting too small already) and I moved you up to size 4 diapers because your belly is growing! Your little chubby fingers are filling out again just like when you were a newborn, along with your belly and your arm & leg rolls... I'm so glad! You also now have 4 teeth - two on top & two on bottom.

You and Anna are just SO cute together. You really love her and she just adores you. She is so good with you (even likes to carry you around which makes me nervous) and I just hope that your relationship continues to grow. It's so fun watching you guys play together.

Oh, and how could I forget - Daddy gave you your first haircut the other day... it was more like a trim, but we had to get your hair out of your eyes. You would rub food in your hair pretty much every time you ate and it was gross. So we put you in your high chair to eat breakfast and Daddy tried his best to trim your hair. Its much shorter in the front (I'm still getting used to it), but I'm glad it's out of your eyes.

Likes: Food, milk, looking at animal books, playing with Anna, people watching, your pacis, Frankie (or any stuffed animal really - you hug them, it's adorable)

Dislikes: When I walk by and don't pick you up, falling down after standing, when there's no more food on your tray and you're still hungry

It's been a really fun month, Bubba. I can't believe we're going to celebrate your first birthday soon! I wish I could have two weeks off every month to spend with you, but hopefully summer break will be here before we know it. 

Love you, Bubba!

Calvin, 10 Months

You did not want to be laying down for these pictures, but couldn't remember how to roll over,
so you just laid there screaming! 

Bubba,
How can you be ten months old already?! 

• You have a huge appetite - we've started feeding you food more regularly throughout the day and you are all about it! I swear sometimes you eat more than Anna does.
• You've learned to clap when we say "yay"
• You wave for "bye-bye", ni-night", and "hi"
• You started pulling up on furniture, my legs when I'm standing...pretty much everything
• 2 pacis at bedtime for the last couple months - one to hold, one for your mouth
• You scream randomly, in a very angry way and we haven't figured out why
• Still very attached to mommy
• Learning how to bounce up and down when we say "dance"
• Your top tooth finally has cut through your gums, I'm sure we'll be able to see it over the next few weeks. That tooth took forever! The one right next to it isn't too far behind, either.
• You had your first ear infection, cough, and round of antibiotics. Thankfully you loved taking them for the most part and would say "mmm" every time. 
• You weighed 17lbs 3oz when I took you to the doctor when you were sick. That's up 6 ounces about two weeks after your nine month appointment. :-)
• You hum to yourself the entire time you're eating in your highchair
• Some days you seem so old! It's exciting to watch you grow and interact more :)

Calvin, 9 Months

Oh Calvin, you have such a personality! Daddy says you're just like me... maybe it's the way you're loud, you're a people-person, you love food, you talk (babble) with your hands, or maybe your little temper... either way, you've been super clingy this month, especially the last week. We're around each other so much, it's not surprising that you'll start to act like me! :) You haven't wanted me to put you down this week, it's kind of exhausting. Even if I'm sitting on the floor with you, you want to be on my lap instead of next to me. If you do venture away to play with something, you'll quickly realize you're not near me anymore, turn around, stare at me and cry. I have no idea where this is coming from all of a sudden, but I'm hoping it'll pass soon. 

Before this clingy phase started, you've been such a happy little guy. You laugh at everything, babble a lot and follow Anna everywhere. She's been so good sharing her stuff with you and making sure you're not putting her stuff in your mouth (and if you do, she's okay with it, too). Speaking of, you eat everything off the floor. You find the littlest of crumbs and of course they go straight into your mouth. Luckily for us, it's pretty obvious when something's in there because you keep it in your mouth for a long time. You get extremely angry when we try to take it out of your mouth, too. You also get angry when you're in the high chair and your tray is empty, and when I walk by you when you're on the floor and I don't pick you up... little bit of a temper there...

You still crawl with one foot to push yourself and the other leg just kind of slides along. Every once in a great while you'll try to crawl the traditional way, but your way is faster. You want to pull yourself up/stand, but you're just not balanced enough. You still don't understand that if you're holding something to stand, you'll fall when you let go.

We celebrated your first Halloween this month and you were dressed as Olaf and Anna was Elsa. It was cute! I just bought you a white hat, glued some felt on to make the face, stuck pipe cleaners through as your twig hair, and glued some black felt circles on a white onsie for your body. We dressed you guys up for Boo at the Zoo and people were able to tell who you were, so I'd call it a success. On Halloween, it was too cold to see your shirt, but the hat kept you warm. :)

Other random things about you this month:

*You still have two teeth on the bottom, but I'm guessing you'll be getting more soon.
*You go to bed at 7:00pm each night, and thankfully the time change didn't effect you too much

*You're finally eating better - rather would feed yourself and we haven't found much that you don't like
*You're back to waking up frequently at night. At your nine month appointment, the doctor said I need to stop feeding you overnight, but I'm just not ready (never thought I'd say that!). I think you need the extra calories right now and I don't want to sleep train you until I have some days off. Maybe over Thanksgiving weekend we'll try again...or Christmas break?
*You only gained one pound and grew one inch since your sixth month appointment. Your growth has definitely slowed down, but it's been a struggle to get you to eat larger quantities the last few months, so I can't say I was surprised. Your babysitter and I are really going to work on getting you to eat more (bottles & food) during the day. You weighed 16lbs 13oz and were 28.25 inches tall.
*You take your bath in the regular tub now and you love it! You crawl around, splash and smile the whole time.
*When you're held by someone new, you like to touch their face - it's like it's your way of saying "hi"

You're full of personality, have the best smile and are just the perfect addition to our family! Love you, Bubba! 

Calvin, 8 months

Bubba,
You've made a ton of gross motor development this month! You're much more stable at sitting up. You can also go from laying on your belly to the sitting position which you learned very quickly after I helped you once or twice. You're crawling.... well, your own version of it :) You use your arms correctly, and one leg, your left leg to be specific. Your right leg is in a bear-crawl position and you use it to push/step yourself forward. It's so cute! I'm guessing it'll only last a little while before you figure out how to crawl the right way...maybe. I won't be surprised if by next month you're starting to pull up on things. You still want to walk so bad!

Your night sleep is finally getting better - woo hoo! I only nurse you around midnight and then again around 5 when I wake up. If you wake up any other time, you're able to get yourself back to sleep pretty quickly. You've become a belly sleeper and I think it's adorable! You sleep on your belly for every nap and overnight. You also move a ton either as you're trying to fall asleep, or when you wake up, because you've been found in some interesting positions. You've gotten yourself wedged into the corner of your crib a couple times (and gotten really mad), but you can usually get yourself out. I keep your bed stocked with at least two pacis so that hopefully you have a better chance of finding it overnight if you need it.

You cut your first tooth, on the bottom, over camping weekend and it's slowly growing in - it's adorable! The tooth next to it just popped through, too. I can also see the very tip of one of your front top teeth, but it's not through yet. Along with those adorable little teeth, we've introduced you to more table foods, little baby yogurt bites, puffs, and you sat in your first restaurant high chair over the weekend at Coney McKane's and did so well. You're also finally starting to nurse for longer stretches again. You still do the best when we're in your room, and I often shut the door (to keep Anna from popping in), but you've done alright in the living room a few times.

You love: Anna, Mommy (you're a little attached), when Daddy is silly with you, swimming, chewing on everything, eating what we eat & feeding yourself...

You dislike: When things get taken away from you, being put down on the floor when you're tired, when I walk past you and don't pick you up, dropping your paci out of your bed, getting your nails trimmed...

You're a chatterbox, have adorable brown eyes, the longest eyelashes, and are just such a happy guy. I love how much more interactive you are now -- the fun is just beginning! We love you so much!

Calvin, 7 Months

Oops, I just realized I never finished this post.... better late than never, I guess :)

• Finally rolling from back to belly, but only over one arm
• Getting much better at sitting up on his own
• No teeth yet
• Wants to crawl and walk so bad!
• Getting better at eating food - actually opening his mouth for the spoon and says a very enthusiastic "Mmmm" when the food goes in. 
• You've also learned how to spit/blow raspberries.... that's fun while eating
• Would rather feed yourself, so you've tried lots of regular non-baby foods
• Still super distracted when he nurses and/or takes a bottle during the day, which means he's still getting up at night to eat
• I started sleep training (again!) and hope to stick with it this time because I'm exhausted. I'm trying to teach you to self-soothe overnight when you wake and it's not time to eat yet.
• It worked! For the last three nights, you've slept from 7/7:30-4/4:30 without waking! I feed you when you wake around 4 and then you'll typically sleep until 6-7. :) 
• But now your naps are crap!
• Began swim class & love it
• Lots of babbling, yelling, screaming 
• You have a very loud, angry cry when you're mad
• Now that you can roll both directions, sometimes you'll fall asleep on your belly or on your side, it's so cute (except when you face is directly into the mattress!)

Calvin, 6 Months

Bubba,
You are such a silly and happy little guy! This month you've been a bit extra fussy because you're growing so much and you're beginning to teethe. You don't have any teeth yet, but I'm sure they'll be popping through soon. Everything you can get your hands on goes straight into your mouth. You're still drooling a bit, but definitely not as much as you did last month. Your (night) sleep completely sucked for a couple weeks this month, where you were getting up every couple hours again. I'm hoping with school starting up again, the routine/schedule might help. I hate to put it in writing, but you've been down to only one nursing session overnight the last few nights, so we'll see if that continues....doubt it.

You have finally mastered rolling from your back to your belly! Of course, now you won't stay on your belly for tummy time very long, but that's okay. We're working on trying to get you to roll from back to belly, but you just want to stand that your legs don't cooperate. You LOVE to stand and want to walk so bad! Whenever you're on your back, you do these little crunches, where you lift your head as high as you can, usually touching your chin to your chest (you have very strong abs!). You don't want to lay on your back anymore! We've been working on you sitting up and you've gotten a lot better the last few days. You can sit by yourself for a little bit, but forget and then fling yourself backwards. I'm sure by the time you're seven months, you'll have it down. Daddy and I can't wait for you to sit on your own so that you can sit in a restaurant high chair, sit in a cart at a store, sit on the floor and play, and so we can switch you to a convertible car seat. You're so heavy to lug around in your infant seat, it'll be a lot easier when you can sit by yourself and we don't have to carry you in your seat anymore.

You have the best giggle and laugh ever, and you're very ticklish. You love watching Anna, you smile at her all the time, and I think watching her run around all the time makes you want to get up and go so bad. You babble a lot more, and of course say da-da-da all the time... and I think you're finally starting to recognize your name.

You've been introduced to several foods this month. I thought you'd be all about it, but you're quite indifferent. You're still learning that you need to open your mouth first, before the spoon goes in, but you do really well with the food once its in your mouth. You've tried: rice cereal, peaches, apples, pears, green beans, melted cheese, & ice cream.

Things you love: bath time (I can't wait to start swim lessons with you soon), jumping, standing, chewing on everything, your caterpillar toy, Hughes (toy), crunchy/crinkly books

Things you're not a fan of: laying down, sleeping through the night (ever), when you can hear me but can't see me

And yes, the mohawk is all natural (but I do stand it up after your bath when it's wet)

Calvin, 5 Months

To my big boy,

You're such a happy little guy! Every single person that meets you describes you as happy and I just love it! You smile at everyone you see and are totally a people-person. :) This month you've started making more noises (screaming, chatting, blowing bubbles a little bit), especially when you're chewing on something. You get very excited about a lot of things and throw your whole body back when you smile! For as much as you never stop moving, I'm really surprised that you're not rolling over all the time. On June 12, you rolled over 4 times, so I think it's safe to say you know how, it's just whether you want to or not. You've only done it once since then and it was probably on accident! You do really well on your tummy though and tolerate your tummy time for longer periods. You've also learned how to scoot in a circle while on your tummy, so that's just how you've been getting to things instead of rolling - whatever works. 

Your hair also makes everyone smile! It's grown in in stages and you can see it when you look closely. You still have about 5-6 super long hairs on top of your head that have been there since you were born. Everywhere else, its slowly filling in, but looked like a natural mohawk for quite a while. It stands straight up on your head, just like Daddy's. 

At your four month doctor appointment you weighed 14lbs 7oz (up from 12lbs at two months old), although seem to be thinning out a bit in your belly/torso. You're completely in 6 month clothes and some 9 month brands that run small. You're in your last pack of size two diapers and then I'll be moving you up to threes to help contain your blow outs. 

Since I've been home with you all summer, we've really been working on a more consistent routine for naps and bedtime. You've taught yourself how to fall asleep without having to nurse to sleep. You sleep in your crib really well, and seem to prefer it over being held to sleep. You typically take a really good, long morning nap and your others are shorter, but that's okay. We've had some really rough nights this month, and one night of you sleeping from 8:30-4:30! I've been doing a bit of sleep training with you and you're getting better. Until yesterday... you were pretty fussy in the afternoon and evening, and it looks like you might be in the beginning stages of getting your first teeth. Your gums look a little bit swollen on the bottom and you want to chew on everything! The amount of drool that has come out of you over the last week or so has been a little crazy. 

Things you love: people, being outside, seeing what's going on, chewing on anything you can get your hands on, your Mickey toy, baths, sitting upright, curling your toes (all the time!)

Things you dislike: When you drop your toys - you get really mad, when Mommy won't feed you every hour or two at night (we're working on this!), being on your tummy for more than 10-15 minutes at a time.

I have loved being home with you this summer! I love your outgoing personality and your adorable giggle! :)

Love, Mommy

The Big 3-0

That's right, folks -- I am 30 years old today!! I'm sure that when I was born doctors didn't think I'd live to be thirty years old. But here I am, still kickin', doing pretty well if I do say so myself... :)
To live with a chronic illness isn't always easy, but I've tried to live the last 12+ years with an attitude of not allowing CF to control the path of my life.

In the last 12 years, I've graduated from high school. Met the love of my life. Graduated college. Got married. Became a teacher. Bought a house. Became a mother (x4). Started grad school....just to name a few things :) I am proud of how far I've come, but know that I'm not even close to living life as full as I absolutely can. I hope that I can soak up every minute of the next thirty years and then some!

To help celebrate THIRTY years, I am not asking for birthday gifts or a big party. I'd love to reach my fundraising goal of $5,000 for our Great Strides team. Currently, we have raised $3,285 which means we have $1,715 to go. Any donation to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation is GREATLY appreciated and helps go towards research for treatments to help improve the quality (and quantity) of my life!

Calvin, 4 Months

To my baby boy,
You're a third of the way to one year old and growing right before my eyes. I feel like this month has been the beginning of your many-to-come developmental milestones. This month you've found your feet, you've learned to fall asleep on your own without nursing, you're sleeping better at night, you're learning to grasp toys/objects and bring them to your mouth, you've started giggling, started sucking your left thumb, and you're making so many more sounds.

You are definitely a people-person and love to know what's going on (and that you can see me). You love riding in your carrier (as long as you're facing out), smiling at everyone (but you have a sweet spot for your sister!), and you always want to be sitting upright when you're awake. But I think the happiest you are is when you're in the bathtub! You get SO excited every single time, the whole time - kicking your legs fast and hard, flailing your arms, grinning with happiness - it's adorable! I can't wait for you to do swim lessons in a couple months! :)

Physically, you're growing so much, too. You're still in size two diapers, but they actually fit you like they're supposed to now. Your summer clothes are a mix of 3 and 6 months, and I'm guessing by the end of this month you'll completely outgrow your three month clothes. Along with your growth this month, your umbilical hernia has shrunk. You now have a regular sized belly button. :) You also have the longest eyelashes!

Sleep is something I've really been working on with you the last couple of weeks. Selfishly, I was over getting up a million times a night, and physically you're clearly not starving, so we're working on less wake-ups overnight. I know that four months tends to be a difficult time for sleep for babies, so I'm hoping this will help you. You've transitioned out of your swaddle and Love to Dream ("straight jacket or flying squirrel"), and now can sleep well in your sleep sack or just whatever you're wearing.

You're a drool/slobber mess, constantly chewing on your hands or anything you can get in your hands. Your hair stands straight up on your head and many people think we style it like a mohawk - it's all natural! :) You've rolled over, twice, from your belly to your back, but I'm guessing it wasn't intentional (or maybe you just didn't like the way it felt) because you haven't done it since. You love to be in your exersaucer and your in-between the door jumper because you can kick and use your legs.

Your adorable personality is growing daily. You're a silly boy who loves to smile at everyone. You especially like to smile and talk to me while you're nursing. Frequently, you'll unlatch just to smile or chat with me before going back for another drink -- it's super cute! This summer is going to be so much fun with you and Anna. You both adore one another and it's so sweet watching the two of you interact with each other. You love to smile and her while she talks to you or reads you books. This summer will be fun, but I know next summer will be even more exciting when you two can really begin to play together! :)

It's only going to get more fun from here and I'm looking forward to it. :)
Love, Mama

Calvin, 3 Months

To my baby boy,
You've become so much more interactive this month, I love it! You are usually so happy and have the biggest smile ever! You've finally learned how to use your voice, although smiling is more your thing. You've come to love your mat with the toys hanging on it, you'll lay on there for quite a while hitting, grabbing and kicking the toys. Hearing Anna's voice makes you smile and sometimes she'll sing to you in the car to calm you down if you're upset. Gone are the days where you lay on your belly across my chest when being held - you love to sit upright or stand, and look out at what's going on in the world. Anna's had her first t-ball practices this month and you have loved it! Being outside wears you out, but it makes you so happy. You're getting much better at holding your head up when sitting and prefer to do tummy time on a pillow instead of laying flat. You are slowing becoming less of a fan of your swing, too, unless there are some rings or toys to grab at.

You still nurse like a champ and are great at taking a bottle. Speaking of, you've now spent an entire month with the babysitter while I've gone back to work and you've done so well! You are happy while you're there and I think Anna enjoys having you there, too. Only 3 more weeks until summer break!

Nighttimes haven't changed much. You typically wake every two-four hours, just depends. One night you slept from 9:15-4:00...it was wonderful!! The next night you slept from about 9:00-3:00, which was nice as well. That was about it though....you usually go down around 9, wake sometime around midnight-1:00, then again around 3:00ish. The last few nights I've taken you out of your swaddle, because you kept busting your arms out, plus you're getting too long. Instead, you've been using your "Love to Dream Swaddle Up" which fits snuggly and keeps your arms bent up next to your head. It's taken some getting used to because you can now touch your face, but usually once I lay you down (sometimes you need the paci), you go right to sleep. I've started laying you on a special pillow, too, to help prevent your head from getting flat. You spend a good chunk of time in bed (on your back), so I'm hoping this will help a bit.

You've grown so much this month, that I've moved you up to size 2 diapers (still a little big) and you're outgrowing some of your three month clothes. Thankfully it has finally warmed up so you've been able to wear your t-shirt onsies (usually without pants because you get hot so quickly) before you grow out of them. Looks like you'll probably be in six month clothes this summer.

Just this week, you've also started unlatching while nursing just to smile and talk to me -- it's the sweetest thing ever! :)

You are such a sweet, happy boy. I can't wait to spend more time with you and your sister this summer. I love being your mommy!!

Calvin, Two Months

To my little man,
Oh how much you've grown and changed over this month. I am so glad that I was able to spend every single day with you over the last two months. Sadly, tomorrow I return to work, but luckily it's only for 7 weeks before we're back together for summer break.

As soon as you hit one month, your hair on top started falling out...but only on top and it happened so quickly. A couple weeks later, it started growing back and now you have brownish-red original hair in the back and darker brown peach fuzz growing in on top. Daddy would joke with me when your hair was falling out on top that I was taking it out and gluing it onto your eyebrows because they grew in as quickly as the top was falling out. Aside from your hair changes this month, you've also had a couple weeks of acne (which is now gone) and have been growing so much! Right after you turned one month old, I switched you into size one diapers and had to pack away most of your newborn clothes. You're now fully in 3 month clothes (and have even outgrown a few of them), although you have lots of t-shirt onsies that you can't wear yet, and probably won't, because it's been too cold.

Your little personality has started to form this month. You have distinct cries for things (hangry, tired, gassy, and just annoyed). You've also started smiling intentionally which is just adorable and you really want to talk. You move your mouth like you're trying to say something, but typically you just grunt. Every now and then a coo will slip out, and sometimes you try so hard to talk that you make yourself spit up!

Tummy time has become more active this month. You sleep less on your belly now because you move too much. You are a very busy little boy, on your back and belly. You've already worn out a line of hair on the back of your head because you move your head back and forth so much from looking around. When on your tummy, you really work your legs! A few times this month you've rolled over (accidentally), rolled off your tummy pillow, and even scooted yourself forward across the bed and your tummy mat by digging in with your toes and pushing yourself. You even almost launched yourself backwards out of your swing by pushing against the bottom with your legs & feet (you will now always be buckled!).

You're not just active when you're awake, but also when you're asleep. You are the noisiest sleeper I know!! You grunt so much and you're pretty restless - you move around a lot. I swaddle you every night otherwise you keep yourself awake by hitting yourself in the face and moving all the time. At six weeks old, I moved you into your bedroom in your rock n play overnight. The first night you went down around 10, woke at 1, 4 and 6:45. It was refreshing for me! After a couple days, I tried putting you in your crib overnight and you did great! We now only use the rock n play when we travel, but you don't sleep in it as well. We were out of town for a few days recently and you didn't sleep the best while we were gone. As soon as we got back home, you slept great in your crib and were back to your 10pm, 1am, 4am overnight schedule. Maybe that means you're a homebody, maybe that means that you just prefer to sleep flat on your back.

Sadly, I'm heading back to work tomorrow. Thankfully, we only have 7 weeks of school left. Daddy got a new job and is starting tomorrow, too. Since he'll be in town now, you'll be going to the babysitter with Anna. She's very excited that you guys are going together and I'm excited that you'll be so close. I'm sad that I'm going to miss out on snuggling you every day, but I know that you'll be well taken care of.

Likes: ceiling fans (especially when they move), when people talk to you, nursing, being held, looking around at everything, bath time & getting rinsed with the shower head, sleeping in the swing when I do my treatments, when Anna talks or sings to you

Dislike: Being in one spot for too long, not having human contact, when my treatments stop - you want out of the swing immediately

• Random things I forgot to add in your one month blog post: 
• you had your tongue tie clipped in the hospital before we brought you home 
• when you were born, your cord was wrapped around your neck (didn't cause any problems)
• bruised face => jaundice
• since I only had to push three times and you came out so fast, your entire face was bruised for about a week or so. All of this bruising led to you being slightly jaundice, but because you were an excellent nurser, it went away quickly and on its own  

This month you celebrated your first Easter (you and Adler both had adorable outfits with suspenders), met more friends and family, went to your/my first CF appointment, and grew a ton. I can't wait to see how much you've really grown at your appointment next week. I hope this next month flies by because it'll mean I'm almost done with school for the year!

Update from two month appointment: Calvin is in the 43rd%ile for his weight at 11lbs 14oz. He's 33rd%il for his height at 22.8 inches. :)

We love you, Calvin!! ~Mommy

How's Mama?

I can't believe it's been seven weeks since I've had Calvin! It still amazes me how slow time seems to go at the end of a pregnancy - anxiously anticipating the arrival of your child - and how fast time seems to go when they're actually here. It's also amazing how much I forgot about how much labor and delivery takes a toll on my body.

After having Anna, I think I was in this blissful fog, so excited to finally have my baby, that I blocked out any memories of recovery. This time around, it felt all new. Everything about Calvin's labor and delivery was so different from Anna's. The labor was longer and more intense, but the actual delivery was painless and very fast.

I'm not quite sure why, but I expected myself to bounce back so quickly after having Calvin. Maybe it was because I felt great after having him, I wasn't in a lot of pain at all. Just four days after giving birth (pushing a 7+ pound baby out of my body), I thought it would be totally normal to go with Tim to take him to the doctor, take Anna to school, and run a couple errands. The next day, I felt like I got hit by a truck (and my bleeding picked up a bit)! I pushed myself way too much and had to remind myself to slow down and take it easy. Sometimes that was easier said than done, but I tried. It was hard for me to feel like I was accomplishing anything - the dishes were piling up, I had laundry out the wazoo, and the house was a mess. I didn't like that I wasn't really able to do too much without feeling it, but I reminded myself that it was my job to recover and care for my newborn baby. Calvin and I spent a lot of time in our PJs on the couch. Forensic Files during the day, and the Olympics overnight, became the background noise of the first several weeks of my maternity leave. In order to really help take it easy, about 2-3 weeks after he was born, we decided to send Anna back to the babysitter in the morning. This took some stress off of me - I didn't have to worry about fighting her for a nap, I didn't have to bring the baby out in public to take her to school every day, and I didn't have to try to get us out of the house on time - except to pick her up from school where we just stayed in the car anyway.

After about 3-4 weeks, I started feeling back to myself. My bleeding slowed down a lot, Calvin was nursing really well, my milk supply regulated (it came in A LOT and I had to pump several times the first week or two to feel comfortable) and I was enjoying my time at home with him.

Health-wise, I've been feeling pretty good. I slacked on my treatments over the first week or two, but once I got my Cayston round in the mail, that pushed me to get my treatments in daily. The Cayston really helped move a lot of mucus out of my lungs, that I'm guessing, was trapped/compressed from baby taking up my whole body while pregnant. I just had my first CF clinic visit since having Calvin and I had a pretty good visit (aside from the added three hours in the city due to a flat tire). My lung function was around 80% which is a little lower than I would like it to be, I'm typically 85-88%, but I shouldn't be surprised because I haven't been 100% with my treatments over the last few months. I'm hoping that returning to work and getting back into a routine will help with that. I'm also really hoping that I can start some sort of exercise this spring/summer to help boost my lung function even more...and work on my beautiful squishy tummy that's decided to stick around for a while. I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but just a little wider and squishier this time around.

I've also been back to my MFM team and won't go back unless we plan to have more kids. Everything checked out well with them, so there wasn't really much to discuss. It was pretty cool though, on my way to the appointment, in the lobby, we ran into Jim, the embryologist! He was one of the doctors who helped along our IVF journey to get pregnant with Calvin. He took care of our embryos and called me with updates before the transfer. He was the one that 'picked' Calvin to implant back in May. It was really great running into him. He remembered me, gave me a huge hug and was so excited to see both Anna and Calvin. What a perfect way to wrap up this little journey by running into one of the men that helped make it all happen. :-)

Now I plan to soak up the remaining days of maternity leave with my baby boy. I'll be returning to work on April 9th. Calvin will be a day over two months old then. Luckily though, once I return, I'll only have 7-8 weeks of the school year left before summer break, so I'm looking forward to that. I'm hoping it'll fly by quickly.

Calvin, One Month

Dear Calvin (who am I kidding, you still go by Brother about 90% of the time),

This was the fastest month ever! I feel like you've grown so much right before my eyes!

Our first month with you has already been an adventure. You came home from the hospital and were so calm and relaxed, and about 10 days in you realized this is a lot different than the last nine months in the womb. Thankfully, you only gave us a hard time for a few days. :) The last couple of weeks, you're starting to be awake more during the day and just within the last couple of days you've started to become a bit interactive. I've gotten three real smiles out of you this week and you're beginning to track things with your eyes, although you go cross-eyed quite a bit and make the funniest faces!

You are the noisiest baby I know! You grunt like no other, your cry is loud, you fart like a grown man, your burps can be quite powerful and you like to hum when you nurse or when you're relaxed. It cracks me up! One night you were humming so loud while you were nursing, you woke Daddy up. And your farts...ha! Let's just say you fit right in, buddy! :) But sometimes those farts are hard on your little body and you get so angry. You squirm, claw at your face and turn yourself red until it finally comes out. I've started burping you in the middle and at the end of your feedings which seems to have cut back on your gas lately, so that's good. Speaking of clawing at your face though, the first week or so home you scratched yourself several times, even drawing blood a couple times. Thankfully, many of your shirts and PJs have built-in mittens on the sleeves - those have been wonderful. Because you struggle to control those silly hands, swaddling you at bedtime is a must! Luckily you've been good about falling asleep without your paci because you don't hold it in very well. You usually just like it to comfort-suck.

Things you love: cuddling/being held - you love human contact (you're so my child, Daddy's calling you a mama's boy and I'm totally okay with that for now), sleeping on your tummy, being worn in the carrier, nursing

Things you don't love: being gassy, being put down, when my treatments turn off (you fall asleep every time they're going and instantly wake up when I'm done...every time!),  getting your diaper changed, getting clothes on, getting lotion on, your first bath (your second one was a little better - less tears)

This month we've done a lot more than I originally expected when I was pregnant. Although I still worry about germs, we've gone out in public quite a bit. You've been to many stores and you've met lots of people. It hasn't been too bad because you're either in your carseat under a blanket or being worn in the carrier, so your exposure to unknown human contact has been very limited. I appreciate those who have limited their contact because they weren't feeling well or had a family member not feeling well. Technically, it's still flu season, so we are still trying to stay as healthy as possible.

You have been nursing so well! You were born at 7lbs 5.5oz, went home from the hospital at 6lbs 14oz and were back up to 7lbs 1oz at just 4 days old. Now, at a month old, you weigh 9lbs, 7oz and are 21 1/4 inches long! That means you have gained 2lbs and grown almost 2 inches!
Within minutes of you being born, you were rooting around, and you latched on so well the first time that you nursed for an hour! My milk supply came in pretty quickly, Friday night into Saturday. It came in so quickly that I had to pump several times within the first week or two just to not feel so engorged. With all of that pumping, and using my Hakkaa overnight, I have 20+ ounces in the freezer already.
During the day, you typically nurse every two hours. I've been trying to get us to bed between 9:00-10:00 and you've been sleeping til about 1am which has been nice. That's usually your longest stretch, and then they get a bit shorter/closer together as we get closer to the morning.

I've been much more comfortable nursing this time around and it really helped my confidence when you just knew what to do. I've also been more comfortable this time around because while I was pregnant, I came across a clothing line called Latched Mama that makes nursing-friendly clothing. They're super cute, comfortable and make nursing discrete and easy. We've successfully nursed at Menards, Lowes, the library, JC Penny, and Barnes & Nobel thanks to my awesome nursing tops! :) Although I don't look forward to pumping when I head back to work next month, I'm hoping our nursing relationship continues to thrive and lasts a least a year.

Brother, you were a long awaited addition to our family. Everything about you being here is right. I can't wait to watch you and Anna grow up together. <3 p="">
Love,
Mommy

Life With Two Kids

Calvin is just over two weeks old and I feel like he's already growing right before my eyes!

This kid loves to sleep on his belly (don't worry, we never leave him unattended)

The first week home, Calvin was so content and relaxed. He loved tummy time and it would often put him to sleep. He ate about every two hours, sometimes 3-4 hours overnight and was very easy going. Around 10 days or so, we hit a rough patch where he got really gassy and fussy in the evenings, sometimes being awake, uncomfortable and sometimes crying for hours. I was getting a bit worried that we were going to have a colicky baby on our hands, but right around two weeks old, it stopped. Just in case, we stocked up on gripe water and I made sure to burp him extra during and after feeds to help try to ease some gas. Thankfully, the last few evenings have been better....but not the overnights.

In typical newborn fashion, Calvin's been getting his days and nights mixed up. He sleeps a lot during the day, having maybe only an hour or so of awake time, and then he wants to be awake late in the evenings or even in the middle of the night. There have been a couple nights when he's been wide awake in the wee hours of the morning when I am so tired.

I definitely forgot how exhausting it can be to have a newborn at home! But man, those baby snuggles make it well worth it!! This little guy loves to be cuddled! Between feeding and changing his diaper at least every two hours, it's hard to get things done around the house, but we're adjusting.

Calvin's first trip to Menards, 4 days old

Anna has really taken to her role has big sister, especially over the last few days. When we first brought Calvin home, she was kind of indifferent to him being here. But once she realized the habits and demeanor of a newborn, she quickly learned to get excited about the little things like when he lifts his head really high during tummy time, when he smiles (even if it's just in his sleep) and when he's awake with his eyes open (she wants to take a picture every time).

She's great about helping out which has been so nice! She loves to be responsible for putting his pacifier in when he's crying or it falls out, she likes to pick out his outfit for the day or jammies, and has even helped change a couple diapers.

Tim and I are adjusting to our new roles as well. It's still weird to think we have two kids. The other day I was talking about going somewhere "with the kids"....it sounded so different, but so good! Anna's been learning how to be patient when she wants me to do something when I'm feeding Calvin. She's also learning that Daddy is pretty awesome at doing things with her, too. With Tim back at work, I am happy to say that I've been able to successfully get out of the house with both kids more than once - swim class when Calvin was a week old, and, of course, a Target run. :)

The first few days after having Calvin home, I wanted to be up and moving - back to normal. I forgot how much I needed to let my body recover. Monday after he was born, we took Anna to school, ran some errands and took Calvin to the doctor. On Tuesday, I felt like I got hit by a truck. I had to remind myself that my body went through a huge ordeal of childbirth and that it was going to take time to feel "normal" again. Now, about 2.5 weeks later, I'm starting to feel like a normal human being again. Calvin's nights are pretty inconsistent, so I'm learning how to survive off of broken sleep, and I'll admit that we spend a lot of time cuddling on the couch, watching TV (currently watching lots & lots of Forensic Files).

This is how we spend a lot of our time during the day :)

Overall, the last 2.5 weeks have flown by! Life as a family of four just fits. I love the way everything has been going and I'm so excited for this new chapter in our lives.

The whole family, even Archie got in on this one!

Anna - 3 1/2

It's been two weeks since you officially became 3 1/2, but Mommy was a little busy that day having your brother, so I wasn't able to get around to this post. That's right - you're a big sister now!! Calvin was born on the 8th of February which makes you two exactly three and a half years apart, to the day. :)

Meeting Calvin for the first time in the hospital

Three and a half is full of sass...still. Some days are more so than others, some days you're just as sweet as ever. You're quite opinionated when it comes to things, but I have to just remind myself that I'd rather you be striving for independence than relying on Daddy and I for everything. Sometimes I have a hard time staying patient when you're trying to get things done on your own, but I'm working on that. You amaze me every day with how much you can do and will try on your own. You're also starting to understand sarcasm which Daddy and I think is pretty awesome.

You love making silly and different faces/poses and having us take your picture, then you love to laugh at them! You remind me so much of your cousin Isaac when you do this! :)

You still love school and have finally opened up and shown your personality while you're there. Your assistant told me one day as she was getting you in the car, "I heard Anna's voice today! She went in the bathroom and just started singing!" You had no idea that anyone on the other side of the door could hear you! She said it was the cutest thing ever and she was so happy that you were finally coming out of your shell. You talk about all of the different friends you have at school, and are also learning to mimic behaviors, so we've had to talk several times about doing what's right, not what other people do....I have a feeling we're going to have that conversation a lot as you grow and learn about how to be your own person. Its fun listening to you talk about the work you do at school ("Mommy, we don't play at school, we work!") and I love seeing your papers you bring home. You love to do Play-doh, painting, writing and sometimes scooping/pouring. You know all of your letters and probably about half of your letter sounds. You can write almost all of your letters independently without a model, you're very curious how things are spelled, and you've started talking about rhyming words recently. You seem to be equal parts interested in academics, but also very creative. You love to color, draw, sing and dance.

You're adjusting to being a big sister pretty well. When you came to meet Calvin in the hospital, within about 10 seconds of seeing him, you sneezed in his face! :) You asked me to put him on the ground to see if he could crawl, and you wanted to know why he wasn't laughing when you were tickling him. You really had no clue what a newborn would be like. The first couple days at home, you were pretty indifferent to him being there, although one of the first mornings, you laid in our bed next to him and held his hand for a while - it was adorable! Every now and then, you'd stop what you were doing and run to see what he was doing. You wanted to bring him toys to hold and play with, but didn't quite understand why he wasn't interested or grabbing them from you.
After a few days, you've starting to warm up to the idea of him sticking around. You love when you get to be a "big sister" or "helper" and help out with anything -- picking out his clothes, grabbing things for me while I'm nursing, putting his paci back in for him, etc. It's sweet listening to you talk to him and I'm so excited to watch your relationship grow!

You've grown so much in just six short months, physically and independently. You're now too tall for most 3T pants, so you mostly have to wear 4T leggings. And since you're in some 4T pants, you insist on wearing ALL 4T things, so we have to remind you that some of your 3T stuff still fits -- you look at the tags and let me know what sizes things are all the time, it's pretty funny. You've also really shown some independence this fall/winter by insisting on getting yourself dressed every morning before school. You have come up with some very unique combinations, lots of layering, and sometimes you even like to style your own hair. It gets a laugh out of Daddy and I (and I'm sure your teachers love it, too!), but I figure, why not?! You think its wonderful that you can wear whatever you want and I love that you're getting yourself ready in the morning.

You've got the term "threenager" down to a tee and you keep us on our toes. Although you insist that you don't, you still need a nap in the morning to make your evenings pleasant. According to you, when you turn four, you won't have to take naps anymore and when you're six, you're going to get a wiener dog. You're already planning your fourth birthday party to be a "nail party", so we'll see if that theme sticks around for the next six months or if you decide to change it. Sass and all, I love your personality....well, I could do with a little less sass. We are so proud of you and I'm so excited to see you grow into your new roll as big sister! :)

Love,
Mommy

The Day I Became A Mother, Again

Wednesday morning, I woke up with a dull ache in my back along with the lingering discomfort from the days before. At first I thought it was because I decided to wear my boots to work the day before instead of my tennis shoes, but when it was coming in random waves with contractions, I realized it could be the lovely "back labor" I've heard about.

It was a scheduled half day of school, which meant that Anna didn't have school, so Tim decided to take her to Bloomington to hang out with Grandma, Shirley, Liam and Xavier for the day. I went to work determined to make it through the half day without too much pain. Thankfully my sub had been hanging out and shadowing me for the last few weeks, so she was very willing to step in and help me out on Wednesday with the kids. I was happy when 10:40 rolled around and the students were dismissed because that just meant the rest of the afternoon was sitting around in meetings.

My contractions started to become more noticeable towards the end of the meeting, maybe around 1 or 2 o'clock. When they didn't back off, I decided to download a contraction timer on my phone and start timing them while at work around 3:00. They were coming every 8-10 minutes, lasting about 30-45 seconds. I ended up staying at work til about 4pm, just getting a few things together (but mostly talking to my teacher friends). When I got home, the contractions continued, and my friend Kristen, who's studying to become a doula, recommended I take a warm bath to see if that changed anything. The contractions remained steady, still about 8-10 minutes apart and it was getting closer to 5 o'clock.

Since Tim still wasn't home from Bloomington and I knew it took him an hour to get home, I decided I should probably let him know that I was having contractions for the last several hours. I also decided to contact my doctor to let them know. I really didn't want to get my hopes up that this really was labor. My OB said it sounded like I was in "early labor" and she wanted me to come in and get checked since I lived so far away and active labor could begin at any time (or not at all). I let her know that Tim wouldn't be home for at least another hour and that we'd come in as soon as he got home. I was torn between getting excited and thinking we were heading to the hospital for no reason and that they'd send me home.

The contractions started picking up a bit in intensity while I waited for Tim to come home. Thank goodness Kristen was there to coach me through everything, even if it was by phone. She gave me tips on how to handle the pain of back labor and what positions might be helpful. This was all new to me because I didn't have this type of labor with Anna.

Tim dropped Anna off with my friend Natalie, on his way home from Bloomington. Anna wasn't too excited about not coming home, but Natalie assured us that she was fine as soon as Tim left. When he got home, we made sure to have everything we needed in case we ended up staying at the hospital. I was not looking forward to the drive because sitting through the contractions and back labor was very uncomfortable. At home, I had been walking and then leaning against something during contractions because that's what felt the best. My contractions moved up to about 4-5 minutes apart on the way to the hospital - I was starting to feel like this was the real deal.

When we got to the hospital around 7:30-8, I made Tim park in the parking garage so that I could walk a bit to the entrance, hopefully to progress things along. Thankfully, since I had contacted my OB, they knew I was coming and check-in was pretty quick. The wheeled me up to the labor & delivery floor and put us in a triage room. I wasn't officially admitted to the hospital yet, I was just there to be monitored to see if I really was in labor. They hooked me up to the monitor, checked my cervix (3 cm) and watched my contractions for a little while. I was super uncomfortable just sitting in the bed, so I finally asked if I could be unhooked from the monitor so I could walk around. The staff was great and very supportive of me doing whatever I needed to do to be comfortable. With my beautiful hospital gowns on, Tim and I walked the halls for a while. I leaned against the handrail on the wall whenever I had a contraction and Tim rubbed my lower back to help distract me from the pain. I don't know how many laps we made around the floor, but it was working. My contractions continued and when I got tired of walking, we went back to the triage room and I sat on a labor ball which helped a lot. After being there for about 2 hours, they checked me again and I was 4cm dilated, so they decided to admit me and put me in a real labor/delivery room! I was SO excited! After roaming those halls and feeling the labor progressing, I told Tim, "they are not sending me home feeling like this!" There was no hesitation from them after they checked me, so that was good. The nurse was going to wheel me down to the labor room, but I asked to walk so that I could keep everything progressing. We had to stop a couple times along the way, but we made it to the other end of the hall into room 318.

They hooked me up to the monitor again, so I sat on the labor ball and continued to labor while they began getting everything ready. It took three nurses and four pokes to get my IV in (that sucked), but once it was in, I had to get through at least 1/2 a bag of fluid before they would come do my epidural. The anesthesiologist came in around midnight or 12:30 to get my epidural started. I was so ready for some relief! Getting the epidural itself wasn't too bad - some stinging and some poking, but I knew it would be worth it. The anesthesiologist told me it would start working soon....but soon never came! After an hour, I only had some tingling from my knees down. The anesthesiologist was surprised, but had an idea. He decided to put a different, stronger medication through the epidural to see if that would work. He said it should be working within 10-20 minutes. After 20 minutes, nothing. My legs were feeling a bit tingly and a little heavy, but I could still feel every contraction. I was getting SO frustrated and exhausted. We decided it was time to pull the current epidural and try a second one. When the nurse helped me move, my legs started feeling different - heavier. It was like it was slowly starting to work. My contractions were fading! The anesthesiologist waited in the room for a few minutes and since things were looking like they were working, we decided not to start a new epidural. The anesthesiologist was completely baffled by what was going on, saying he's never seen anything like this before. I was just glad to finally have some relief. Since they had the epidural working, they gave me some Pitocin through my IV to try to help me keep progressing.

Unfortunately, the relief didn't last very long. Slowly, the feeling of my contractions started coming back. I called for the nurse and she decided that I needed to keep switching the side I was laying on in order for the epidural to be effective. I was miserable laying in the bed and I was starting to have intense pain in the left side of my pelvis, right under my hip. They thought it was just the way the baby was positioned. After flipping back and forth forever, I think I was around 6cm. I couldn't handle the pain anymore and asked if I could go on my hands and knees. The nurse seemed a bit reluctant, but I was desperate to try anything for some relief. She and another nurse got me situated on my hands and knees, Tim rubbed my back when the pain was really bad, and I just stayed in this position for a little while (maybe 30-45 mins?) hoping it would help. After a while, the pain/pressure was terrible. They decided to flip me over and check me -- I was 10 cm and Brother was right there, ready to come! I WAS SO RELIEVED! I couldn't wait to meet him after this long night of labor!

The nurses got everything set up - my legs in the stirrups, the mirror pulled down, and everything ready for the doctor. I was so excited! They told me as soon as I felt some pressure, I could push. I think before I even started pushing, I could see his head a bit. With that first push, I could definitely see the top of his head. The nurses were very encouraging and after 3 pushes, baby was here!!! They placed him on my chest and I was in awe! I couldn't believe how tiny he was and what an adorable round little face he had.


They let me hold him for a few minutes while they worked on getting my placenta out. It was still up quite a ways, so they needed to push on my tummy to help get it out. The nurse took Brother to get measured and weighed while they worked on me. It took longer than expected because when it finally did come out, it wasn't all there. After lots of pushing on my belly (not numb) and digging around (numb, thankfully), they were able to get all of the pieces. While they were doing this, Tim was holding the baby and I was just staring at his cute little face on the mirror. I tossed around both name choices we had, in my head, and decided that he definitely looked like a Calvin. It just fit.

When they were done working on me, Tim was able to give the baby back to me. He immediately started rooting around, so I was able to start nursing him right there - it was so cool! He knew exactly what to

do. Over the next hour, he nursed while Tim and I agreed (pretty easily) that his name would be Calvin. *We never discussed middle names during my pregnancy, so his middle name was discussed over the next day or so and only decided on about a 1/2 hour before we were discharged.

Calvin Ronald was born on Thursday, February 8th at 5:16am. He weighed 7lbs 5.5oz and is 19.5 inches long.


The rest of the morning went smoothly. Surprisingly the crappy epidural took forever to wear off in my legs. Slowly we started calling, texting, and notifying family and friends. Because Calvin was so healthy, he was able to stay with us in the room, which was really nice and started our breastfeeding off very, very well. Although my labor was long, painful and exhausting, the fact that I only had to push three times made the ending a lot happier. :)

**Fun Facts: Anna and Calvin both came on their own at 39 weeks exactly. They were both born on the 8th of the month and within the same hour of each other. They are exactly 3 1/2 years apart.