Kinder Quotes

In honor of today being my last day of school, I thought I'd finally share my last compilation of Kinder Quotes from my first class! Enjoy!
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It's the end of the day and we're packing up to go home. It's pretty noisy/chaotic in the room because kids, folders and backpacks are everywhere, when I think I hear a student say, ""Bob" lost his pet. It was in his backpack"
I said, "Excuse me?"
Bob says, "Yeah, it was a cockroach from my grandma's house."
Me: (while trying not to panic) "Where is it??"
Bob: "I don't know." So Bob wanders around the room with his carrying his open backpack looking on the floor for this apparent cockroach.
Finally Bob yells, "I found it!"
Me: "Is it dead or alive???"
Bob: "Alive."
Me: "Step on it!!!"
Well of course Bob crushed the crap out of it....sorry to the night custodian. Gross!!!!!!!!!!!
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Trying to have a serious conversation with my class today about their behavior with a sub:
Me: "Remember last time I was gone and you were so loud."
Student A: "Yeah and Mr. (Principal) had to come down because he could hear us all the way from the office!"
Me: "Yeah...that's not good. I'm so sad that had to happen."
Student B (so innocently says): "Mr. (Principal) has big ears."
And that's when the serious conversation stopped - I could not stop laughing!! Then I had to assure the students that the principal didn't hear them all the way down the hall because he has big ears - it was because they were so loud!
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I introduced the "ee" and "or" Jolly Phonics sounds to my kids. After reading the word 'cork' together, I told them to change the k to an n and they said, "Corn."
I was encouraging them to come up with their own words with those sounds in them and then one student excitedly shouted, "Porn!"
I calmly said, "No, that's not a word." And quickly called on another student before someone else tried to tell me otherwise! :-)
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One of the first students who came into my room (first day back after spring break) popped his head out from around the mailboxes and said, "Ain't nobody got time for that!!" Then just went about his business!
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We were talking about what we were going to get our moms for Mother's Day.
Student A: "Chocolate."
Student B: "A flower and candy."
Student C: "I think I'm going to get a bunny."
Me: "No, this isn't (student name) Day, it's Mothers Day!"
Someone needs to teach that child it is NOT all about her 24/7!!!!
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I cannot wait to have a new class of little jokesters!! I'll have to be better about writing these things down next year because kindergarteners are just hilarious!!! :-) Yay, summer break!!!

I Love My Job!

This post is long overdue, but I'll try the best that I can. First off, I LOVE my job! I really do. As much work as it is, it is just SO rewarding and hilarious. My class is just so funny! The principal told me once that if he wants to laugh that day, he can just come into my room. :-)
The first couple months were a little hectic because we (students and I) needed to get into a groove. I also had a wonderful teaching assistant in the morning, but unfortunately she had to leave because she accepted a full-time position at another school. That was a total bummer to me because the next person was going to have big shoes to fill. But I am happy, and lucky, to say that my new assistant (that I've had for about a month now) is fantastic!!
Now we're settling into a better routine and each day is truly an adventure. I never know what these kids are going to say or do, and they just crack me up! I can't imagine not enjoying my job. Everyone needs to find a job that they love - it just makes life so much better. And now, long overdue:

Kinder Quotes & Stories: 

Student: "I know what I'm going to get Santa for Christmas?"
Me: "What?"
Student: "A girlfriend."
Me: "Santa doesn't need a girlfriend, he has a wife - Mrs. Claus! He can't be married and have a girlfriend."
Student: "What?! I've never seen her in my life!"

Student: "My mom won't let me wear pajamas to school tomorrow."
Me: "Why not? We just decided today what we're doing for our reward. Your mom doesn't even know yet."
Student: "Because I'm grounded"
Me: "Why are you grounded?"
Student: "Because I pee the bed." (totally not embarrassed)
Me: "Well, why do you pee the bed?"
Student: "Because I get cold at night."
Me: (What?!?!)???? -- I don't think I responded....
This story is just so weird! Not going to lie, this student is a little strange, too.

Student: "Mrs. Bite-in-gwoober"
Me: "Yes?"
Student: "I wub you."

An ambulance goes by on the street outside our school with the sirens on. A student says, "Someone died." (Again, my reaction is What?!)

This is my #2 favorite story so far: We're just coming back from lunch/recess and I reminded my few students with glasses to remember to put their glasses on, which they keep at their tables on their name tags. One kid goes in the closet and comes out completely serious with huge, 3D theater glasses on!!! I immediately said, "Put those away now." And he looked at me and said, "What? You said we needed to put our glasses on." So again, very calmly I said, "Put those away now." So the student runs back to the closet and starts loud-obnoxious-fake crying (my pet peeve!), so I had to take the glasses away. This entire time though, I was dying laughing on the inside!!! It was hilarious because the glasses were so big on his head and he had a straight face the entire time!!!!

My #1 favorite story happened just this afternoon (and if we're Facebook friends you probably already saw it): We were doing an activity called Heggerty, which is oral phonics. The section's directions were "teacher says a word and the students repeat it. Teacher tells students to take away the beginning blend and say what is left of the word."
Me: "Glass"
Students: "Glass"
Me: "Take away the 'gl'"
Students: "Ass"
*Then there was a very short awkward pause and lots of hilarious, shocked looks on their faces! And one student says, "Ooooooo, Mrs. Veitengruber made us say a cuss word!" And you could just see the lightbulbs going on for the other students.... :) So we all just laughed for a good two minutes about it and then  said, "Bad Heggerty! That's a naughty word to make us say!" It was AWESOME! I felt like we all became a little closer because of that today. :)

I know there are more, but I can't think of them right now. I need to start writing them down... hope you enjoyed... :-)

Kinder Quotes

It's been a while since I've posted some good kinder quotes. I know there have been more but I've been terrible about writing them down this school year. I've been working on this short list for a few months now and I completely forgot it was in my 'drafts' folder. Sorry it's so short, enjoy! :-)

*We were watching the presidential speech to students and when Obama walked on screen, one of the students yelled, "Shhh, it's the principal!"

*A student farted while on the carpet. Instead of saying 'excuse me', he chose to say: "That was a mega fart!"

*"This classroom is a pain in my head!" I'm guessing a combination of 'a pain in the ass' and a 'headache' -- he chose his words wisely.

*A child wasn't following directions so I made him go to the end of the line in the hallway and he yelled at me, "I'm going to call the SPCA on you!" (The ASPCA is American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals)

*One of my students decided to moon a couple of kids in front of a sub while I was at the back of the classroom helping other kids. When the sub came and told me about it I was shocked! When I asked the student what he was doing, he replied with a huge grin and his hands on his hips, "I was shaking my booty!" He, of course, is the cutest kid in class and it was SO hard not to laugh and to discipline him!!

Say My Name, Say My Name

Okay, so our last name is Veitengruber pronounced: V-eye-ten-groo-ber --not that hard, right? WRONG! Here are some of the comments/questions/remarks we frequently hear when people see it or hear it for the first time:

1. (Silence...nervous laugh) Uhhh...you're going to have to spell that for me. This is pretty tricky when several of the letters sound the same: v, e, t, g, b
2. Oh, is that German? Or, that's very German! Yes, it is German.
3. Do you speak German?? No, I don't speak German, I just married into it! 
4. Wow, that's a long name.Yes, it is very long. (Usually I just smile and nod)
5. Wow! That's a mouthful! Yes, it is a mouthful. (Just smile and nod, don't make a smart-ass comment)
6. You married into that? What was your maiden name? Oh man, what a difference/change! Yes, it's double the length and difficulty of my maiden name, thanks for noticing because I didn't...
7. Is that hyphenated? No, let's not make it more difficult.
8. Teacher: Go see Mrs. V. Student: Who? Teacher: Mrs. (makes V sound).... and that's when I jump in and say Veitengruber. I love that every student knows my full name. :-)
9. You're going to have to give your kids an easy first name since they have such a difficult last name. Several people have also asked my husband: Did you have a hard time learning how to spell that when you were little? He replies, "No, I wasn't stupid." 
10. EVERYONE mispronounces it and spells it wrong, especially telemarketers or anyone over the phone
11. G-R-U-B-E-R does not spell/say 'burger'
12. I've noticed that children are much better at saying my name that teachers/adults, although I've got several different versions I'd love to share with you:

• Veetengruber (the most common mistake because people pronounce the "e" instead of the "i". 
• Veeten-burger
• Vertaminburger
• Vei-da-dooder - this is what one of my students started out as
• Vei-da-gooder - this is what he now calls me
• Vei-ta-mover - this is what my other student calls me everyday
• Vei-ta-gruder
• Vintengrober (written)
• Vintergruber (written)
• Most recently: Vipen-grouper
• And definitely my favorite: Ahhhhhh-burger!

There are many more I'm sure, but that's all I can think of right now. :-) I've had people make up their own versions at work too, to mock it such as: Viagra-burger. 

Yes, my last name is difficult and people freak out when they see the 'ei' combination. I'd be lying if I didn't do a triple take at it when I first saw it as Tim's last name (and I probably made some of the dumb comments above, too!), but I wouldn't trade it for anything. You don't marry a person for their name, you marry them because you love them. And I so happen to LOVE being a Veitengruber. 

Kinder Quotes

It's a guarantee that I will laugh at something that one of the students says everyday! Here's what I have so far for this school year...

*First full day of school, a little kinder (not from my class) gets off the bus and tells me, "I'm going to go look for where I have to put my backpack. My mom says that I have to try....(hesitation) but if I can't find it, I'm going to come find you!" A few minutes later she comes running to me with a huge grin on her face saying, "I found it, I found it!"

*Again, the first full day of school - A little girl in my class says to me, "I'm good at school, I listen."

*We were just lining up the Kinders from recess and it started sprinkling and lots of the kids shouted, "oh no, it's raining!" And another little kid shouted, "How are we going to get home??"

*This happened in another class and was told to me by another assistant: The class was talking about their favorite restaurants and little girl raised her hand and said, "Stinkin' Wendy's." The teacher didn't understand what she said, so she asked, "Did you say Steak & Shake?" And the girl replied, "No, stinkin' Wendys. That's what my mom and grandma say when they're getting ready for work - they don't want to go to stinkin' Wendy's!!"

*We were talking as a whole class about how to sneeze and cough into your elbow so that you don't spread germs and a student said to his neighbor, "I just bless you-ed in my arm!"

I know it wasn't very many this time, but I promise there will be more to come throughout the school year. :-)

Kinder Quotes

I work as a teaching assistant with Kindergarteners and I love it! Needless to say, they say the funniest things and make me laugh daily! So, I decided to start writing some of them down to share with you! (Hopefully you'll find them as amusing as I do--you just have to remember these things are coming out of the mouths of little five and six year olds!)

**This week is spirit week for the high school basketball game on Friday. Monday's spirit wear was "Sunday's Best Clothing" and a couple of the boys wore ties and some of the girls wore dresses. One of our super-distractable students wore a mustache! He was wearing a hoodie and cargo pants....and a huge black, curled at the ends, mustache! Apparently that's his idea of fancy...or his parents didn't know he left the house with it.

**We were talking in class about how the students have changed since they were babies, so they were sharing stories about things they did when they were babies:
"This is kind of inappropriate....but I pooped in the bathtub."
"When I was little, I was eating a hot dog and it wasn't cut up. My mom thought I was going to choke and she was terrified!!"
"Can you believe it?! When I was born, then it was only a few weeks before Christmas!!"
"A dinosaur took my pacifier." (The teacher asked her if she meant she lost it, or if maybe it had a dinosaur on it...but she was sure that a dinosaur took it. I guess that's what her parents told her!)

**I teach a small reading group and one of the students was counting something and obviously counted way too many.
I said, "Oh man, you can't count! You need to go back to preschool!"
And another boy replied, "Yeah, he's going old school!"
Another assistant in the room turned around from her computer and looked at me to see if I heard the same thing and we both started cracking up. I asked the student to repeat what he said and he goes, "Well, he can't count, so he should go back to his old school."  (Guess it was too good to be true...)

**Today, one boy asked me, "Are you a mom?" And I told him, "No."
A couple girls looked at me and said, "You're not?!?! Why?? Do you just live all by yourself then??"
I answered them, "No, I live with my husband, we just got married."
The girls still kept asking, "Well, don't you want to have a baby? Why can't you just get one?" I was afraid of where this might head...so I just said,"Yes, I want a baby, and maybe one day I'll have one."

**I mentioned this one in an earlier post, but in case you missed it (it's one of the best so far):
A little girl was going to the bathroom and I was standing in the hall waiting for her and she yelled to me, "There's pee and a big poop in the toilet! It's so cool, I did that!" Luckily for her, there was no one else in the hallway but me!

There are many more to come, I'm sure! I'm so glad to work with these little guys, they think everything is exciting and they make my day so much more fun! :-)