Being a Mom with CF

Warning: Post ahead is not all rainbows and sunshine. It's reality.

Being a mom with CF is hard. Being a mom is hard. Being a mom and having a full time job is hard. Putting CF on top of those things makes it even more difficult. I'll admit, I haven't been 100% with my treatments for the last few months. At the end of my pregnancy I was so tired and uncomfortable. And now, I'm just tired! There have been evenings where I skip my second treatment to get to be a little earlier and at the time, I think that's okay. Sleep is hard to come by with a toddler and a newborn, so I try to take advantage, but it sucks that I have to skip a breathing treatment to do it.

I've been back at work for only two weeks now and I just texted my CF doctor about beginning oral antibiotics. Anyone with CF knows the defeat you feel when you have to "call in the big guns". Luckily for me, those "big guns" are still oral antibiotics and not IVs, but it still sucks. I feel like CF is winning and that I'm losing.

A week ago I didn't feel the greatest. I was having some sinus drainage along with a sore throat. But with snow one day and 60-70 degree temperatures a few days later, I chalked it up to the crazy weather and maybe allergies. Everyone in our house just seemed a little extra snotty, so I didn't think it was a big deal. But when I woke up and it hurt to breathe this morning, that's when I knew it wasn't just crazy weather or allergies. My lungs are not happy with whatever has been hanging around over the last week.

So now's the big debate - what to do? The typical antibiotic I go on when feeling this way is Cipro which is not the best for a nursing mother because it could be transferred to baby through my milk....or at least that's what I think I remember from when Anna was a baby. With her, she slept longer stretches at night, so I could wait until the medication wasn't at it's strongest point and then nurse her. While at work, I pumped and dumped and she was given bottles of extra frozen milk from previous weeks.

This time around, Calvin still wakes up every three hours at night to nurse, so I'm not sure how that's going to work with the Cipro. After doing some of my own research online (LactMed) and talking with other CF mothers, it seems like the Cipro is strongest 3-4 hours after taking a dose. I think I can swing it by continuing to nurse and then giving a bottle of previously pumped milk during the 3-4 hour post-dosage time. I'll also look into giving Calvin some probiotics to help keep his tummy happy while he's exposed to some extra medicine. Continuing to nurse him is really important to me. He's doing so well nursing and I'm not going to let this bump in the road stop that. I feel like nursing my kids is one thing that my body has been able to do right, so it's going to take a lot to get me to stop. If I have to be hooked up to the pump extra over the next 10-14 days, then so be it.

As of right now, I'm still waiting to hear back from my doctor, but I'm planning on starting the Cipro asap-- hopefully tonight or tomorrow morning. I know I need it before this gets any worse. My plan for the weekend is to rest as much as possible while trying to complete my Master's assignments for the semester (since we're busy the next two weekends).

Calvin, Two Months

To my little man,
Oh how much you've grown and changed over this month. I am so glad that I was able to spend every single day with you over the last two months. Sadly, tomorrow I return to work, but luckily it's only for 7 weeks before we're back together for summer break.

As soon as you hit one month, your hair on top started falling out...but only on top and it happened so quickly. A couple weeks later, it started growing back and now you have brownish-red original hair in the back and darker brown peach fuzz growing in on top. Daddy would joke with me when your hair was falling out on top that I was taking it out and gluing it onto your eyebrows because they grew in as quickly as the top was falling out. Aside from your hair changes this month, you've also had a couple weeks of acne (which is now gone) and have been growing so much! Right after you turned one month old, I switched you into size one diapers and had to pack away most of your newborn clothes. You're now fully in 3 month clothes (and have even outgrown a few of them), although you have lots of t-shirt onsies that you can't wear yet, and probably won't, because it's been too cold.

Your little personality has started to form this month. You have distinct cries for things (hangry, tired, gassy, and just annoyed). You've also started smiling intentionally which is just adorable and you really want to talk. You move your mouth like you're trying to say something, but typically you just grunt. Every now and then a coo will slip out, and sometimes you try so hard to talk that you make yourself spit up!

Tummy time has become more active this month. You sleep less on your belly now because you move too much. You are a very busy little boy, on your back and belly. You've already worn out a line of hair on the back of your head because you move your head back and forth so much from looking around. When on your tummy, you really work your legs! A few times this month you've rolled over (accidentally), rolled off your tummy pillow, and even scooted yourself forward across the bed and your tummy mat by digging in with your toes and pushing yourself. You even almost launched yourself backwards out of your swing by pushing against the bottom with your legs & feet (you will now always be buckled!).

You're not just active when you're awake, but also when you're asleep. You are the noisiest sleeper I know!! You grunt so much and you're pretty restless - you move around a lot. I swaddle you every night otherwise you keep yourself awake by hitting yourself in the face and moving all the time. At six weeks old, I moved you into your bedroom in your rock n play overnight. The first night you went down around 10, woke at 1, 4 and 6:45. It was refreshing for me! After a couple days, I tried putting you in your crib overnight and you did great! We now only use the rock n play when we travel, but you don't sleep in it as well. We were out of town for a few days recently and you didn't sleep the best while we were gone. As soon as we got back home, you slept great in your crib and were back to your 10pm, 1am, 4am overnight schedule. Maybe that means you're a homebody, maybe that means that you just prefer to sleep flat on your back.

Sadly, I'm heading back to work tomorrow. Thankfully, we only have 7 weeks of school left. Daddy got a new job and is starting tomorrow, too. Since he'll be in town now, you'll be going to the babysitter with Anna. She's very excited that you guys are going together and I'm excited that you'll be so close. I'm sad that I'm going to miss out on snuggling you every day, but I know that you'll be well taken care of.

Likes: ceiling fans (especially when they move), when people talk to you, nursing, being held, looking around at everything, bath time & getting rinsed with the shower head, sleeping in the swing when I do my treatments, when Anna talks or sings to you

Dislike: Being in one spot for too long, not having human contact, when my treatments stop - you want out of the swing immediately

• Random things I forgot to add in your one month blog post: 
• you had your tongue tie clipped in the hospital before we brought you home 
• when you were born, your cord was wrapped around your neck (didn't cause any problems)
• bruised face => jaundice
• since I only had to push three times and you came out so fast, your entire face was bruised for about a week or so. All of this bruising led to you being slightly jaundice, but because you were an excellent nurser, it went away quickly and on its own  

This month you celebrated your first Easter (you and Adler both had adorable outfits with suspenders), met more friends and family, went to your/my first CF appointment, and grew a ton. I can't wait to see how much you've really grown at your appointment next week. I hope this next month flies by because it'll mean I'm almost done with school for the year!

Update from two month appointment: Calvin is in the 43rd%ile for his weight at 11lbs 14oz. He's 33rd%il for his height at 22.8 inches. :)

We love you, Calvin!! ~Mommy

How's Mama?

I can't believe it's been seven weeks since I've had Calvin! It still amazes me how slow time seems to go at the end of a pregnancy - anxiously anticipating the arrival of your child - and how fast time seems to go when they're actually here. It's also amazing how much I forgot about how much labor and delivery takes a toll on my body.

After having Anna, I think I was in this blissful fog, so excited to finally have my baby, that I blocked out any memories of recovery. This time around, it felt all new. Everything about Calvin's labor and delivery was so different from Anna's. The labor was longer and more intense, but the actual delivery was painless and very fast.

I'm not quite sure why, but I expected myself to bounce back so quickly after having Calvin. Maybe it was because I felt great after having him, I wasn't in a lot of pain at all. Just four days after giving birth (pushing a 7+ pound baby out of my body), I thought it would be totally normal to go with Tim to take him to the doctor, take Anna to school, and run a couple errands. The next day, I felt like I got hit by a truck (and my bleeding picked up a bit)! I pushed myself way too much and had to remind myself to slow down and take it easy. Sometimes that was easier said than done, but I tried. It was hard for me to feel like I was accomplishing anything - the dishes were piling up, I had laundry out the wazoo, and the house was a mess. I didn't like that I wasn't really able to do too much without feeling it, but I reminded myself that it was my job to recover and care for my newborn baby. Calvin and I spent a lot of time in our PJs on the couch. Forensic Files during the day, and the Olympics overnight, became the background noise of the first several weeks of my maternity leave. In order to really help take it easy, about 2-3 weeks after he was born, we decided to send Anna back to the babysitter in the morning. This took some stress off of me - I didn't have to worry about fighting her for a nap, I didn't have to bring the baby out in public to take her to school every day, and I didn't have to try to get us out of the house on time - except to pick her up from school where we just stayed in the car anyway.

After about 3-4 weeks, I started feeling back to myself. My bleeding slowed down a lot, Calvin was nursing really well, my milk supply regulated (it came in A LOT and I had to pump several times the first week or two to feel comfortable) and I was enjoying my time at home with him.

Health-wise, I've been feeling pretty good. I slacked on my treatments over the first week or two, but once I got my Cayston round in the mail, that pushed me to get my treatments in daily. The Cayston really helped move a lot of mucus out of my lungs, that I'm guessing, was trapped/compressed from baby taking up my whole body while pregnant. I just had my first CF clinic visit since having Calvin and I had a pretty good visit (aside from the added three hours in the city due to a flat tire). My lung function was around 80% which is a little lower than I would like it to be, I'm typically 85-88%, but I shouldn't be surprised because I haven't been 100% with my treatments over the last few months. I'm hoping that returning to work and getting back into a routine will help with that. I'm also really hoping that I can start some sort of exercise this spring/summer to help boost my lung function even more...and work on my beautiful squishy tummy that's decided to stick around for a while. I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but just a little wider and squishier this time around.

I've also been back to my MFM team and won't go back unless we plan to have more kids. Everything checked out well with them, so there wasn't really much to discuss. It was pretty cool though, on my way to the appointment, in the lobby, we ran into Jim, the embryologist! He was one of the doctors who helped along our IVF journey to get pregnant with Calvin. He took care of our embryos and called me with updates before the transfer. He was the one that 'picked' Calvin to implant back in May. It was really great running into him. He remembered me, gave me a huge hug and was so excited to see both Anna and Calvin. What a perfect way to wrap up this little journey by running into one of the men that helped make it all happen. :-)

Now I plan to soak up the remaining days of maternity leave with my baby boy. I'll be returning to work on April 9th. Calvin will be a day over two months old then. Luckily though, once I return, I'll only have 7-8 weeks of the school year left before summer break, so I'm looking forward to that. I'm hoping it'll fly by quickly.

Great Strides 2018

Our 2017 Bloomington team! :-)

Great Strides season is upon us! This year, the foundation has condensed several of it's walk sites in IL, so it took me a bit to decide which one our team should attend (the two we normally do are now gone). This year we're going to try to help Champaign's walk grow with our large team.

This year is also a special year for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. This is the 30th year of Great Strides! It also happens that I'll be turning 30 years old this summer! When I was born, in 1988, I don't think anyone expected me to live this long, let alone be thriving!

Since this year marks 30 years of living, thriving and beating CF, I'd love for this to be our biggest Great Strides year yet!

*Most number of people registered
*Biggest turn out in Champaign
*Largest amount raised for CF -- our team goal is $5,000 (or more)

To reach these goals this year, I need YOUR help. If you'd like to walk with us in Champaign this year, please make sure that your register online for free: http://fightcf.cff.org/goto/colleen30

If you're unable to attend the walk with us, but would still like to make a donation: http://fightcf.cff.org/goto/colleen30

If you're interested in walking at another location around the state or country: http://fightcf.cff.org/site/PageServer?pagename=strides_searchResults

Whether you can join us or not, to help raise awareness of CF and it's need for donations, feel free to share the link on your social media with friends, family, co-workers, etc. The more we make people AWARE of CF, the more likely we are to collect DONATIONS. And as we know, DONATIONS go to RESEARCH for MEDICATIONS and hopefully one day, A CURE!

Calvin, One Month

Dear Calvin (who am I kidding, you still go by Brother about 90% of the time),

This was the fastest month ever! I feel like you've grown so much right before my eyes!

Our first month with you has already been an adventure. You came home from the hospital and were so calm and relaxed, and about 10 days in you realized this is a lot different than the last nine months in the womb. Thankfully, you only gave us a hard time for a few days. :) The last couple of weeks, you're starting to be awake more during the day and just within the last couple of days you've started to become a bit interactive. I've gotten three real smiles out of you this week and you're beginning to track things with your eyes, although you go cross-eyed quite a bit and make the funniest faces!

You are the noisiest baby I know! You grunt like no other, your cry is loud, you fart like a grown man, your burps can be quite powerful and you like to hum when you nurse or when you're relaxed. It cracks me up! One night you were humming so loud while you were nursing, you woke Daddy up. And your farts...ha! Let's just say you fit right in, buddy! :) But sometimes those farts are hard on your little body and you get so angry. You squirm, claw at your face and turn yourself red until it finally comes out. I've started burping you in the middle and at the end of your feedings which seems to have cut back on your gas lately, so that's good. Speaking of clawing at your face though, the first week or so home you scratched yourself several times, even drawing blood a couple times. Thankfully, many of your shirts and PJs have built-in mittens on the sleeves - those have been wonderful. Because you struggle to control those silly hands, swaddling you at bedtime is a must! Luckily you've been good about falling asleep without your paci because you don't hold it in very well. You usually just like it to comfort-suck.

Things you love: cuddling/being held - you love human contact (you're so my child, Daddy's calling you a mama's boy and I'm totally okay with that for now), sleeping on your tummy, being worn in the carrier, nursing

Things you don't love: being gassy, being put down, when my treatments turn off (you fall asleep every time they're going and instantly wake up when I'm done...every time!),  getting your diaper changed, getting clothes on, getting lotion on, your first bath (your second one was a little better - less tears)

This month we've done a lot more than I originally expected when I was pregnant. Although I still worry about germs, we've gone out in public quite a bit. You've been to many stores and you've met lots of people. It hasn't been too bad because you're either in your carseat under a blanket or being worn in the carrier, so your exposure to unknown human contact has been very limited. I appreciate those who have limited their contact because they weren't feeling well or had a family member not feeling well. Technically, it's still flu season, so we are still trying to stay as healthy as possible.

You have been nursing so well! You were born at 7lbs 5.5oz, went home from the hospital at 6lbs 14oz and were back up to 7lbs 1oz at just 4 days old. Now, at a month old, you weigh 9lbs, 7oz and are 21 1/4 inches long! That means you have gained 2lbs and grown almost 2 inches!
Within minutes of you being born, you were rooting around, and you latched on so well the first time that you nursed for an hour! My milk supply came in pretty quickly, Friday night into Saturday. It came in so quickly that I had to pump several times within the first week or two just to not feel so engorged. With all of that pumping, and using my Hakkaa overnight, I have 20+ ounces in the freezer already.
During the day, you typically nurse every two hours. I've been trying to get us to bed between 9:00-10:00 and you've been sleeping til about 1am which has been nice. That's usually your longest stretch, and then they get a bit shorter/closer together as we get closer to the morning.

I've been much more comfortable nursing this time around and it really helped my confidence when you just knew what to do. I've also been more comfortable this time around because while I was pregnant, I came across a clothing line called Latched Mama that makes nursing-friendly clothing. They're super cute, comfortable and make nursing discrete and easy. We've successfully nursed at Menards, Lowes, the library, JC Penny, and Barnes & Nobel thanks to my awesome nursing tops! :) Although I don't look forward to pumping when I head back to work next month, I'm hoping our nursing relationship continues to thrive and lasts a least a year.

Brother, you were a long awaited addition to our family. Everything about you being here is right. I can't wait to watch you and Anna grow up together. <3 p="">
Love,
Mommy

Life With Two Kids

Calvin is just over two weeks old and I feel like he's already growing right before my eyes!

This kid loves to sleep on his belly (don't worry, we never leave him unattended)

The first week home, Calvin was so content and relaxed. He loved tummy time and it would often put him to sleep. He ate about every two hours, sometimes 3-4 hours overnight and was very easy going. Around 10 days or so, we hit a rough patch where he got really gassy and fussy in the evenings, sometimes being awake, uncomfortable and sometimes crying for hours. I was getting a bit worried that we were going to have a colicky baby on our hands, but right around two weeks old, it stopped. Just in case, we stocked up on gripe water and I made sure to burp him extra during and after feeds to help try to ease some gas. Thankfully, the last few evenings have been better....but not the overnights.

In typical newborn fashion, Calvin's been getting his days and nights mixed up. He sleeps a lot during the day, having maybe only an hour or so of awake time, and then he wants to be awake late in the evenings or even in the middle of the night. There have been a couple nights when he's been wide awake in the wee hours of the morning when I am so tired.

I definitely forgot how exhausting it can be to have a newborn at home! But man, those baby snuggles make it well worth it!! This little guy loves to be cuddled! Between feeding and changing his diaper at least every two hours, it's hard to get things done around the house, but we're adjusting.

Calvin's first trip to Menards, 4 days old

Anna has really taken to her role has big sister, especially over the last few days. When we first brought Calvin home, she was kind of indifferent to him being here. But once she realized the habits and demeanor of a newborn, she quickly learned to get excited about the little things like when he lifts his head really high during tummy time, when he smiles (even if it's just in his sleep) and when he's awake with his eyes open (she wants to take a picture every time).

She's great about helping out which has been so nice! She loves to be responsible for putting his pacifier in when he's crying or it falls out, she likes to pick out his outfit for the day or jammies, and has even helped change a couple diapers.

Tim and I are adjusting to our new roles as well. It's still weird to think we have two kids. The other day I was talking about going somewhere "with the kids"....it sounded so different, but so good! Anna's been learning how to be patient when she wants me to do something when I'm feeding Calvin. She's also learning that Daddy is pretty awesome at doing things with her, too. With Tim back at work, I am happy to say that I've been able to successfully get out of the house with both kids more than once - swim class when Calvin was a week old, and, of course, a Target run. :)

The first few days after having Calvin home, I wanted to be up and moving - back to normal. I forgot how much I needed to let my body recover. Monday after he was born, we took Anna to school, ran some errands and took Calvin to the doctor. On Tuesday, I felt like I got hit by a truck. I had to remind myself that my body went through a huge ordeal of childbirth and that it was going to take time to feel "normal" again. Now, about 2.5 weeks later, I'm starting to feel like a normal human being again. Calvin's nights are pretty inconsistent, so I'm learning how to survive off of broken sleep, and I'll admit that we spend a lot of time cuddling on the couch, watching TV (currently watching lots & lots of Forensic Files).

This is how we spend a lot of our time during the day :)

Overall, the last 2.5 weeks have flown by! Life as a family of four just fits. I love the way everything has been going and I'm so excited for this new chapter in our lives.

The whole family, even Archie got in on this one!

Anna - 3 1/2

It's been two weeks since you officially became 3 1/2, but Mommy was a little busy that day having your brother, so I wasn't able to get around to this post. That's right - you're a big sister now!! Calvin was born on the 8th of February which makes you two exactly three and a half years apart, to the day. :)

Meeting Calvin for the first time in the hospital

Three and a half is full of sass...still. Some days are more so than others, some days you're just as sweet as ever. You're quite opinionated when it comes to things, but I have to just remind myself that I'd rather you be striving for independence than relying on Daddy and I for everything. Sometimes I have a hard time staying patient when you're trying to get things done on your own, but I'm working on that. You amaze me every day with how much you can do and will try on your own. You're also starting to understand sarcasm which Daddy and I think is pretty awesome.

You love making silly and different faces/poses and having us take your picture, then you love to laugh at them! You remind me so much of your cousin Isaac when you do this! :)

You still love school and have finally opened up and shown your personality while you're there. Your assistant told me one day as she was getting you in the car, "I heard Anna's voice today! She went in the bathroom and just started singing!" You had no idea that anyone on the other side of the door could hear you! She said it was the cutest thing ever and she was so happy that you were finally coming out of your shell. You talk about all of the different friends you have at school, and are also learning to mimic behaviors, so we've had to talk several times about doing what's right, not what other people do....I have a feeling we're going to have that conversation a lot as you grow and learn about how to be your own person. Its fun listening to you talk about the work you do at school ("Mommy, we don't play at school, we work!") and I love seeing your papers you bring home. You love to do Play-doh, painting, writing and sometimes scooping/pouring. You know all of your letters and probably about half of your letter sounds. You can write almost all of your letters independently without a model, you're very curious how things are spelled, and you've started talking about rhyming words recently. You seem to be equal parts interested in academics, but also very creative. You love to color, draw, sing and dance.

You're adjusting to being a big sister pretty well. When you came to meet Calvin in the hospital, within about 10 seconds of seeing him, you sneezed in his face! :) You asked me to put him on the ground to see if he could crawl, and you wanted to know why he wasn't laughing when you were tickling him. You really had no clue what a newborn would be like. The first couple days at home, you were pretty indifferent to him being there, although one of the first mornings, you laid in our bed next to him and held his hand for a while - it was adorable! Every now and then, you'd stop what you were doing and run to see what he was doing. You wanted to bring him toys to hold and play with, but didn't quite understand why he wasn't interested or grabbing them from you.
After a few days, you've starting to warm up to the idea of him sticking around. You love when you get to be a "big sister" or "helper" and help out with anything -- picking out his clothes, grabbing things for me while I'm nursing, putting his paci back in for him, etc. It's sweet listening to you talk to him and I'm so excited to watch your relationship grow!

You've grown so much in just six short months, physically and independently. You're now too tall for most 3T pants, so you mostly have to wear 4T leggings. And since you're in some 4T pants, you insist on wearing ALL 4T things, so we have to remind you that some of your 3T stuff still fits -- you look at the tags and let me know what sizes things are all the time, it's pretty funny. You've also really shown some independence this fall/winter by insisting on getting yourself dressed every morning before school. You have come up with some very unique combinations, lots of layering, and sometimes you even like to style your own hair. It gets a laugh out of Daddy and I (and I'm sure your teachers love it, too!), but I figure, why not?! You think its wonderful that you can wear whatever you want and I love that you're getting yourself ready in the morning.

You've got the term "threenager" down to a tee and you keep us on our toes. Although you insist that you don't, you still need a nap in the morning to make your evenings pleasant. According to you, when you turn four, you won't have to take naps anymore and when you're six, you're going to get a wiener dog. You're already planning your fourth birthday party to be a "nail party", so we'll see if that theme sticks around for the next six months or if you decide to change it. Sass and all, I love your personality....well, I could do with a little less sass. We are so proud of you and I'm so excited to see you grow into your new roll as big sister! :)

Love,
Mommy

The Day I Became A Mother, Again

Wednesday morning, I woke up with a dull ache in my back along with the lingering discomfort from the days before. At first I thought it was because I decided to wear my boots to work the day before instead of my tennis shoes, but when it was coming in random waves with contractions, I realized it could be the lovely "back labor" I've heard about.

It was a scheduled half day of school, which meant that Anna didn't have school, so Tim decided to take her to Bloomington to hang out with Grandma, Shirley, Liam and Xavier for the day. I went to work determined to make it through the half day without too much pain. Thankfully my sub had been hanging out and shadowing me for the last few weeks, so she was very willing to step in and help me out on Wednesday with the kids. I was happy when 10:40 rolled around and the students were dismissed because that just meant the rest of the afternoon was sitting around in meetings.

My contractions started to become more noticeable towards the end of the meeting, maybe around 1 or 2 o'clock. When they didn't back off, I decided to download a contraction timer on my phone and start timing them while at work around 3:00. They were coming every 8-10 minutes, lasting about 30-45 seconds. I ended up staying at work til about 4pm, just getting a few things together (but mostly talking to my teacher friends). When I got home, the contractions continued, and my friend Kristen, who's studying to become a doula, recommended I take a warm bath to see if that changed anything. The contractions remained steady, still about 8-10 minutes apart and it was getting closer to 5 o'clock.

Since Tim still wasn't home from Bloomington and I knew it took him an hour to get home, I decided I should probably let him know that I was having contractions for the last several hours. I also decided to contact my doctor to let them know. I really didn't want to get my hopes up that this really was labor. My OB said it sounded like I was in "early labor" and she wanted me to come in and get checked since I lived so far away and active labor could begin at any time (or not at all). I let her know that Tim wouldn't be home for at least another hour and that we'd come in as soon as he got home. I was torn between getting excited and thinking we were heading to the hospital for no reason and that they'd send me home.

The contractions started picking up a bit in intensity while I waited for Tim to come home. Thank goodness Kristen was there to coach me through everything, even if it was by phone. She gave me tips on how to handle the pain of back labor and what positions might be helpful. This was all new to me because I didn't have this type of labor with Anna.

Tim dropped Anna off with my friend Natalie, on his way home from Bloomington. Anna wasn't too excited about not coming home, but Natalie assured us that she was fine as soon as Tim left. When he got home, we made sure to have everything we needed in case we ended up staying at the hospital. I was not looking forward to the drive because sitting through the contractions and back labor was very uncomfortable. At home, I had been walking and then leaning against something during contractions because that's what felt the best. My contractions moved up to about 4-5 minutes apart on the way to the hospital - I was starting to feel like this was the real deal.

When we got to the hospital around 7:30-8, I made Tim park in the parking garage so that I could walk a bit to the entrance, hopefully to progress things along. Thankfully, since I had contacted my OB, they knew I was coming and check-in was pretty quick. The wheeled me up to the labor & delivery floor and put us in a triage room. I wasn't officially admitted to the hospital yet, I was just there to be monitored to see if I really was in labor. They hooked me up to the monitor, checked my cervix (3 cm) and watched my contractions for a little while. I was super uncomfortable just sitting in the bed, so I finally asked if I could be unhooked from the monitor so I could walk around. The staff was great and very supportive of me doing whatever I needed to do to be comfortable. With my beautiful hospital gowns on, Tim and I walked the halls for a while. I leaned against the handrail on the wall whenever I had a contraction and Tim rubbed my lower back to help distract me from the pain. I don't know how many laps we made around the floor, but it was working. My contractions continued and when I got tired of walking, we went back to the triage room and I sat on a labor ball which helped a lot. After being there for about 2 hours, they checked me again and I was 4cm dilated, so they decided to admit me and put me in a real labor/delivery room! I was SO excited! After roaming those halls and feeling the labor progressing, I told Tim, "they are not sending me home feeling like this!" There was no hesitation from them after they checked me, so that was good. The nurse was going to wheel me down to the labor room, but I asked to walk so that I could keep everything progressing. We had to stop a couple times along the way, but we made it to the other end of the hall into room 318.

They hooked me up to the monitor again, so I sat on the labor ball and continued to labor while they began getting everything ready. It took three nurses and four pokes to get my IV in (that sucked), but once it was in, I had to get through at least 1/2 a bag of fluid before they would come do my epidural. The anesthesiologist came in around midnight or 12:30 to get my epidural started. I was so ready for some relief! Getting the epidural itself wasn't too bad - some stinging and some poking, but I knew it would be worth it. The anesthesiologist told me it would start working soon....but soon never came! After an hour, I only had some tingling from my knees down. The anesthesiologist was surprised, but had an idea. He decided to put a different, stronger medication through the epidural to see if that would work. He said it should be working within 10-20 minutes. After 20 minutes, nothing. My legs were feeling a bit tingly and a little heavy, but I could still feel every contraction. I was getting SO frustrated and exhausted. We decided it was time to pull the current epidural and try a second one. When the nurse helped me move, my legs started feeling different - heavier. It was like it was slowly starting to work. My contractions were fading! The anesthesiologist waited in the room for a few minutes and since things were looking like they were working, we decided not to start a new epidural. The anesthesiologist was completely baffled by what was going on, saying he's never seen anything like this before. I was just glad to finally have some relief. Since they had the epidural working, they gave me some Pitocin through my IV to try to help me keep progressing.

Unfortunately, the relief didn't last very long. Slowly, the feeling of my contractions started coming back. I called for the nurse and she decided that I needed to keep switching the side I was laying on in order for the epidural to be effective. I was miserable laying in the bed and I was starting to have intense pain in the left side of my pelvis, right under my hip. They thought it was just the way the baby was positioned. After flipping back and forth forever, I think I was around 6cm. I couldn't handle the pain anymore and asked if I could go on my hands and knees. The nurse seemed a bit reluctant, but I was desperate to try anything for some relief. She and another nurse got me situated on my hands and knees, Tim rubbed my back when the pain was really bad, and I just stayed in this position for a little while (maybe 30-45 mins?) hoping it would help. After a while, the pain/pressure was terrible. They decided to flip me over and check me -- I was 10 cm and Brother was right there, ready to come! I WAS SO RELIEVED! I couldn't wait to meet him after this long night of labor!

The nurses got everything set up - my legs in the stirrups, the mirror pulled down, and everything ready for the doctor. I was so excited! They told me as soon as I felt some pressure, I could push. I think before I even started pushing, I could see his head a bit. With that first push, I could definitely see the top of his head. The nurses were very encouraging and after 3 pushes, baby was here!!! They placed him on my chest and I was in awe! I couldn't believe how tiny he was and what an adorable round little face he had.


They let me hold him for a few minutes while they worked on getting my placenta out. It was still up quite a ways, so they needed to push on my tummy to help get it out. The nurse took Brother to get measured and weighed while they worked on me. It took longer than expected because when it finally did come out, it wasn't all there. After lots of pushing on my belly (not numb) and digging around (numb, thankfully), they were able to get all of the pieces. While they were doing this, Tim was holding the baby and I was just staring at his cute little face on the mirror. I tossed around both name choices we had, in my head, and decided that he definitely looked like a Calvin. It just fit.

When they were done working on me, Tim was able to give the baby back to me. He immediately started rooting around, so I was able to start nursing him right there - it was so cool! He knew exactly what to

do. Over the next hour, he nursed while Tim and I agreed (pretty easily) that his name would be Calvin. *We never discussed middle names during my pregnancy, so his middle name was discussed over the next day or so and only decided on about a 1/2 hour before we were discharged.

Calvin Ronald was born on Thursday, February 8th at 5:16am. He weighed 7lbs 5.5oz and is 19.5 inches long.


The rest of the morning went smoothly. Surprisingly the crappy epidural took forever to wear off in my legs. Slowly we started calling, texting, and notifying family and friends. Because Calvin was so healthy, he was able to stay with us in the room, which was really nice and started our breastfeeding off very, very well. Although my labor was long, painful and exhausting, the fact that I only had to push three times made the ending a lot happier. :)

**Fun Facts: Anna and Calvin both came on their own at 39 weeks exactly. They were both born on the 8th of the month and within the same hour of each other. They are exactly 3 1/2 years apart.