Monday, December 17, 2018

Calvin, 10 Months


You did not want to be laying down for these pictures, but couldn't remember how to roll over,
so you just laid there screaming! 
Bubba,
How can you be ten months old already?! 
  • You have a huge appetite - we've started feeding you food more regularly throughout the day and you are all about it! I swear sometimes you eat more than Anna does.
  • You've learned to clap when we say "yay"
  • You wave for "bye-bye", ni-night", and "hi"
  • You started pulling up on furniture, my legs when I'm standing...pretty much everything
  • 2 pacis at bedtime for the last couple months - one to hold, one for your mouth
  • You scream randomly, in a very angry way and we haven't figured out why
  • Still very attached to mommy
  • Learning how to bounce up and down when we say "dance"
  • Your top tooth finally has cut through your gums, I'm sure we'll be able to see it over the next few weeks. That tooth took forever! The one right next to it isn't too far behind, either.
  • You had your first ear infection, cough, and round of antibiotics. Thankfully you loved taking them for the most part and would say "mmm" every time. 
  • You weighed 17lbs 3oz when I took you to the doctor when you were sick. That's up 6 ounces about two weeks after your nine month appointment. :-)
  • You hum to yourself the entire time you're eating in your highchair
  • Some days you seem so old! It's exciting to watch you grow and interact more :)

Friday, December 7, 2018

Colleen, The Writer

Hi all! It's Colleen, the writer and creator of this blog. When I created this blog back in 2011 I intended for it to be about my life with Cystic Fibrosis. As the years progressed, I've added in personal touches about my growing family, and now I feel like my kids have taken over my blog! But in a way, that's life! My kids and my family are my life, and CF is just a part of it.

I suppose I should update a little bit about myself lately. I'm an exhausted mom and teacher, but loving life. This summer I changed jobs, now working in a rural, small-town school district which is a complete change from the large urban district I was in for the last six years. I'm also teaching fifth grade now which is a lot different from third grade, but it's been fun. I have great partners and coworkers and only twenty students in my class this year.

Along with a new job, came new health insurance -- for someone with a chronic illness, it's quite a pain. Moving to a much smaller district, too, meant that my benefits were more expensive and covered a little less, but it's worth it because my job is less stressful. I've had to switch all of my prescriptions over to a different pharmacy, but thankfully I'm back now with Foundation Care and they are wonderful. **No more Express Scripts or Accredo!**

And if having a preschooler, a nursing infant, and a new job aren't enough on my plate, I'm also finishing up my Master's degree in Teaching and Learning with an emphasis in science. I am one project away from finishing this semester, and one research class away from graduating in May!! My plan is to continue on to receive my +32, which means 32 credit hours beyond a Master's degree (and a big bump in pay).

CF-wise, I've been doing alright. My overall lung function is now in the high 70s and I think a lot of that has to do with how exhausted I've been over the last year. Adding another child into the mix, especially one who's a total boob-man all night long, has been way more exhausting than I would have thought. But man, he sure is cute! I am hoping that once he hits a year old he'll start sleeping better, which means that I can start sleeping more, but we'll see. Honestly, I haven't been the most complaint with my treatments this fall, so that hasn't been the best either. I'm trying to get myself back on track though. I've also had several episodes of hemoptysis over the last six months and I'm not sure why. My plan is to do a three week course of Cipro as soon as I'm done breastfeeding, hopefully to kick out all of this extra crap in my lungs. Overall, I'm not feeling 100%, but I'm not feeling terrible either, just kind of "meh" for now. The winter is always tricky with school and germs, but I'm going to try my best to stay healthy as always.

Hopefully you've been enjoying all of my posts about my sweet kiddos. I'll try to do better about adding more about CF on here, but I just don't like to give my CF any extra attention - it's not what defines me.

Thursday, November 15, 2018

Calvin, 9 Months


Oh Calvin, you have such a personality! Daddy says you're just like me... maybe it's the way you're loud, you're a people-person, you love food, you talk (babble) with your hands, or maybe your little temper... either way, you've been super clingy this month, especially the last week. We're around each other so much, it's not surprising that you'll start to act like me! :) You haven't wanted me to put you down this week, it's kind of exhausting. Even if I'm sitting on the floor with you, you want to be on my lap instead of next to me. If you do venture away to play with something, you'll quickly realize you're not near me anymore, turn around, stare at me and cry. I have no idea where this is coming from all of a sudden, but I'm hoping it'll pass soon. 

Before this clingy phase started, you've been such a happy little guy. You laugh at everything, babble a lot and follow Anna everywhere. She's been so good sharing her stuff with you and making sure you're not putting her stuff in your mouth (and if you do, she's okay with it, too). Speaking of, you eat everything off the floor. You find the littlest of crumbs and of course they go straight into your mouth. Luckily for us, it's pretty obvious when something's in there because you keep it in your mouth for a long time. You get extremely angry when we try to take it out of your mouth, too. You also get angry when you're in the high chair and your tray is empty, and when I walk by you when you're on the floor and I don't pick you up... little bit of a temper there...

You still crawl with one foot to push yourself and the other leg just kind of slides along. Every once in a great while you'll try to crawl the traditional way, but your way is faster. You want to pull yourself up/stand, but you're just not balanced enough. You still don't understand that if you're holding something to stand, you'll fall when you let go.

We celebrated your first Halloween this month and you were dressed as Olaf and Anna was Elsa. It was cute! I just bought you a white hat, glued some felt on to make the face, stuck pipe cleaners through as your twig hair, and glued some black felt circles on a white onsie for your body. We dressed you guys up for Boo at the Zoo and people were able to tell who you were, so I'd call it a success. On Halloween, it was too cold to see your shirt, but the hat kept you warm. :)

Other random things about you this month:
*You still have two teeth on the bottom, but I'm guessing you'll be getting more soon.
*You go to bed at 7:00pm each night, and thankfully the time change didn't effect you too much
*You're finally eating better - rather would feed yourself and we haven't found much that you don't like
*You're back to waking up frequently at night. At your nine month appointment, the doctor said I need to stop feeding you overnight, but I'm just not ready (never thought I'd say that!). I think you need the extra calories right now and I don't want to sleep train you until I have some days off. Maybe over Thanksgiving weekend we'll try again...or Christmas break?
*You only gained one pound and grew one inch since your sixth month appointment. Your growth has definitely slowed down, but it's been a struggle to get you to eat larger quantities the last few months, so I can't say I was surprised. Your babysitter and I are really going to work on getting you to eat more (bottles & food) during the day. You weighed 16lbs 13oz and were 28.25 inches tall.
*You take your bath in the regular tub now and you love it! You crawl around, splash and smile the whole time.
*When you're held by someone new, you like to touch their face - it's like it's your way of saying "hi"

You're full of personality, have the best smile and are just the perfect addition to our family! Love you, Bubba! 

Monday, October 8, 2018

Calvin, 8 months


Bubba,
You've made a ton of gross motor development this month! You're much more stable at sitting up. You can also go from laying on your belly to the sitting position which you learned very quickly after I helped you once or twice. You're crawling.... well, your own version of it :) You use your arms correctly, and one leg, your left leg to be specific. Your right leg is in a bear-crawl position and you use it to push/step yourself forward. It's so cute! I'm guessing it'll only last a little while before you figure out how to crawl the right way...maybe. I won't be surprised if by next month you're starting to pull up on things. You still want to walk so bad!

Your night sleep is finally getting better - woo hoo! I only nurse you around midnight and then again around 5 when I wake up. If you wake up any other time, you're able to get yourself back to sleep pretty quickly. You've become a belly sleeper and I think it's adorable! You sleep on your belly for every nap and overnight. You also move a ton either as you're trying to fall asleep, or when you wake up, because you've been found in some interesting positions. You've gotten yourself wedged into the corner of your crib a couple times (and gotten really mad), but you can usually get yourself out. I keep your bed stocked with at least two pacis so that hopefully you have a better chance of finding it overnight if you need it.

You cut your first tooth, on the bottom, over camping weekend and it's slowly growing in - it's adorable! The tooth next to it just popped through, too. I can also see the very tip of one of your front top teeth, but it's not through yet. Along with those adorable little teeth, we've introduced you to more table foods, little baby yogurt bites, puffs, and you sat in your first restaurant high chair over the weekend at Coney McKane's and did so well. You're also finally starting to nurse for longer stretches again. You still do the best when we're in your room, and I often shut the door (to keep Anna from popping in), but you've done alright in the living room a few times.

You love: Anna, Mommy (you're a little attached), when Daddy is silly with you, swimming, chewing on everything, eating what we eat & feeding yourself...

You dislike: When things get taken away from you, being put down on the floor when you're tired, when I walk past you and don't pick you up, dropping your paci out of your bed, getting your nails trimmed...

You're a chatterbox, have adorable brown eyes, the longest eyelashes, and are just such a happy guy. I love how much more interactive you are now -- the fun is just beginning! We love you so much!

Sunday, September 23, 2018

Kalydeco, Five Years Later

I've been on Kalydeco for five years (August 30th)! I can't believe it's been that long. This "miracle drug" has definitely changed my life for the better, but it hasn't been a cure, especially lately.

I've had a rough month, well, a difficult last 7-8 months, really. Ever since Calvin was born, I've struggled to get my lung function back up to my baseline of mid-80s - it's been hovering in the high 70s the last two times I had my PFTs done (which really isn't that much of a decline, but it is to me). I've been on Cipro twice, May and August, Cayston doesn't seem to be working as well for me (causes hemoptysis), Tobi makes me feel super tight and makes me cough all night long. I'm getting frustrated and I feel like I'm slowly running out of options (that aren't IVs). I've also been battling on & off hemoptysis for the last month which has been really annoying. I don't feel terrible, but I don't feel clear either. I just want to go back to feeling normal (my normal). I'm a little nervous about my appointment next week, especially since our whole family has this disgusting productive cough.

Overall though, I feel like Kalydeco has been amazing for me! Before I started taking Kalydeco, I really struggled to gain and maintain my weight, I was around 108-110 lbs. My lung function fluctuated between high 70s and mid-80s. Today, my weight is steady around 130-135 lbs and my lung function has been in the mid-to high-80s until earlier this year. Considering that the average CF patient typically loses a bit of lung function each year, the fact that I've been stable for the last five years is a huge success!!

I've had two full-term successful pregnancies (and our angel babies), maintained a full-time career of teaching, started my Master's degree and maintained my health.... I'd call that a win! All thanks to two little blue pills per day (plus all of my other treatments). Unfortunately, it seems like CF is starting to show its ugly head while I'm trying to be busy living my life lately. I hope that my doctor and I can come up with a new plan of attack because I have way more living to do and I'm not going to let this hiccup bring me down!

**Oh, and one of the CF nurses just emailed me on Friday asking if I wanted to do another round of genetic testing to see if they can figure out my second mutation (I have G551D & the other is unknown). Of course I enthusiastically replied YES! I'm so curious to know what the other mutation is and if we'll get anymore information when we find out. :)

Calvin, 7 Months

Oops, I just realized I never finished this post.... better late than never, I guess :)

  • Finally rolling from back to belly, but only over one arm
  • Getting much better at sitting up on his own
  • No teeth yet
  • Wants to crawl and walk so bad!
  • Getting better at eating food - actually opening his mouth for the spoon and says a very enthusiastic "Mmmm" when the food goes in. 
  • You've also learned how to spit/blow raspberries.... that's fun while eating
  • Would rather feed yourself, so you've tried lots of regular non-baby foods
  • Still super distracted when he nurses and/or takes a bottle during the day, which means he's still getting up at night to eat
  • I started sleep training (again!) and hope to stick with it this time because I'm exhausted. I'm trying to teach you to self-soothe overnight when you wake and it's not time to eat yet.
  • It worked! For the last three nights, you've slept from 7/7:30-4/4:30 without waking! I feed you when you wake around 4 and then you'll typically sleep until 6-7. :) 
  • But now your naps are crap!
  • Began swim class & love it
  • Lots of babbling, yelling, screaming 
  • You have a very loud, angry cry when you're mad
  • Now that you can roll both directions, sometimes you'll fall asleep on your belly or on your side, it's so cute (except when you face is directly into the mattress!)

Monday, September 3, 2018

4 Years Old!!!!

To my big girl,
This year has been the most challenging so far, but you've also grown so much!

You finally broke the 30-pound mark and are 40 inches all. That means you've gained 4lbs and grown 4 inches this year! You're still very petite, but you've got a feisty personality and have no problems holding your own.

Open House 2017 (left) & Open House 2018 (right)
You've completed one year of preschool and you loved it! You've learned so much, made some friends, and even got invited to a couple birthday parties this year. You know all of your letters and most of their sounds, you know your full address, you can count by tens to 100, you can consistently count to 29, need a reminder of 30 and then can get to 39. You want so bad to be able to count to 100 -- you're getting closer. You can write your first and last name, and even decided to change your name to Elsa at the end of the year. Your teachers are wonderful and I know you're very excited to be going back this fall.

This year you've tried tumbling and t-ball, and continued swimming. You really enjoyed tumbling, but I couldn't stand it because it was so unorganized and you basically ran around and did whatever (not just you, all the kids because there was no structure). After tumbling, you wanted to go back to swim, so we kept that up over the winter. You really have gained a lot of confidence in the pool this year. By the end of this summer, you were going under (shallow) water to grab rings. That's huge progress for you! You're learning how to swim with your face in the water more and you're more comfortable jumping in -finally! This spring you took a break from swim to try t-ball. Your team was made up of older 2 year olds, 3 & 4 year olds. It was like herding cats some days, but you did well. You were a great listener to your coaches, even though I think you enjoyed playing in the dirt more than t-ball itself. It was cute to watch you play!



You love all things Elsa, Frozen, princesses, and dressing up. But you also love bugs, butterflies, playing in the dirt, being barefoot outside, jumping in puddles, playing in the rain, fishing, climbing on everything, playing with your babies, coloring, drawing, taping your creations/art all over the house...



Oh little girl, you are full of sass! Daddy and I are really trying to have you use manners/nice words, be kind to others, and most of the time you are, but sometimes you are just so sassy which drives me crazy. You and I have similar personality traits, in always wanting to be in control, haha, so we often butt-heads. You think you know everything (already) and sometimes I just need to pick my battles because its not worth the fight. I think part of the behavior comes with your age and I think some of it has be learned from being around other kids this year. I hope that this next year you mature and tone down the attitude just a bit (please!). :)

You finally became a big sister this year, and you are very proud of that title. You didn't know what to expect when Calvin was first born, but you've been so good with him. You would get excited over the littlest things (when he opened his eyes or his mouth, haha) and you always want to take pictures of him. Now that he's becoming more interactive and mobile, you're getting more excited too. So far you're pretty good about sharing some of your toys or stuffed animals with him. You always say, "I'm the big sister and the big helper" and you refer to yourself as "sissy" which is pretty cute. You call him Bubba, like I do, when he's upset or when you're encouraging him to do something. You get just as excited as I do when he learns something new like rolling over or sitting up. You're still learning how to share adult attention, but that will come. If someone is playing with Calvin and making him smile/laugh, you like to get all up in there and make him look at you instead. You want to feed him with the spoon (and try all of the baby foods he's having - don't worry, you're not missing out!). I am proud of the way that you behave around him and I love how much you love him! I hope that the two of you can grow up and be close with one another.

4 years old & 6 months old (3.5 years apart, to the day)
Other random things I can think of: you learned how to ride a bike with training wheels this summer; you got your ears pierced the night before you turned 4; you can do hopscotch (not sure where you learned that); we still read a book before bed every night; we've accomplished 1,000 books before Kindergarten this summer; you don't like spiders; you still love the color blue; you now know how to work the TV remote (its terrible because you switch shows every 5 minutes); you hate doing your laundry; you're pretty good at keeping your room clean & organized; you still love Chinese food; you prefer taking showers over baths; you love being outside; you love being silly!

I can't believe you're four years old already! I can remember the day you were born so clearly still. You've grown up so much right before our eyes and we're so very proud of you. Keep being kind, but don't lose your spunk either, big girl! :) We love you!
~Mommy

Thursday, August 9, 2018

Calvin, 6 Months

Bubba,
You are such a silly and happy little guy! This month you've been a bit extra fussy because you're growing so much and you're beginning to teethe. You don't have any teeth yet, but I'm sure they'll be popping through soon. Everything you can get your hands on goes straight into your mouth. You're still drooling a bit, but definitely not as much as you did last month. Your (night) sleep completely sucked for a couple weeks this month, where you were getting up every couple hours again. I'm hoping with school starting up again, the routine/schedule might help. I hate to put it in writing, but you've been down to only one nursing session overnight the last few nights, so we'll see if that continues....doubt it.

You have finally mastered rolling from your back to your belly! Of course, now you won't stay on your belly for tummy time very long, but that's okay. We're working on trying to get you to roll from back to belly, but you just want to stand that your legs don't cooperate. You LOVE to stand and want to walk so bad! Whenever you're on your back, you do these little crunches, where you lift your head as high as you can, usually touching your chin to your chest (you have very strong abs!). You don't want to lay on your back anymore! We've been working on you sitting up and you've gotten a lot better the last few days. You can sit by yourself for a little bit, but forget and then fling yourself backwards. I'm sure by the time you're seven months, you'll have it down. Daddy and I can't wait for you to sit on your own so that you can sit in a restaurant high chair, sit in a cart at a store, sit on the floor and play, and so we can switch you to a convertible car seat. You're so heavy to lug around in your infant seat, it'll be a lot easier when you can sit by yourself and we don't have to carry you in your seat anymore.

You have the best giggle and laugh ever, and you're very ticklish. You love watching Anna, you smile at her all the time, and I think watching her run around all the time makes you want to get up and go so bad. You babble a lot more, and of course say da-da-da all the time... and I think you're finally starting to recognize your name.

You've been introduced to several foods this month. I thought you'd be all about it, but you're quite indifferent. You're still learning that you need to open your mouth first, before the spoon goes in, but you do really well with the food once its in your mouth. You've tried: rice cereal, peaches, apples, pears, green beans, melted cheese, & ice cream.

Things you love: bath time (I can't wait to start swim lessons with you soon), jumping, standing, chewing on everything, your caterpillar toy, Hughes (toy), crunchy/crinkly books

Things you're not a fan of: laying down, sleeping through the night (ever), when you can hear me but can't see me

And yes, the mohawk is all natural (but I do stand it up after your bath when it's wet)

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Calvin, 5 Months

To my big boy,
You're such a happy little guy! Every single person that meets you describes you as happy and I just love it! You smile at everyone you see and are totally a people-person. :) This month you've started making more noises (screaming, chatting, blowing bubbles a little bit), especially when you're chewing on something. You get very excited about a lot of things and throw your whole body back when you smile! For as much as you never stop moving, I'm really surprised that you're not rolling over all the time. On June 12, you rolled over 4 times, so I think it's safe to say you know how, it's just whether you want to or not. You've only done it once since then and it was probably on accident! You do really well on your tummy though and tolerate your tummy time for longer periods. You've also learned how to scoot in a circle while on your tummy, so that's just how you've been getting to things instead of rolling - whatever works. 

Your hair also makes everyone smile! It's grown in in stages and you can see it when you look closely. You still have about 5-6 super long hairs on top of your head that have been there since you were born. Everywhere else, its slowly filling in, but looked like a natural mohawk for quite a while. It stands straight up on your head, just like Daddy's. 

At your four month doctor appointment you weighed 14lbs 7oz (up from 12lbs at two months old), although seem to be thinning out a bit in your belly/torso. You're completely in 6 month clothes and some 9 month brands that run small. You're in your last pack of size two diapers and then I'll be moving you up to threes to help contain your blow outs. 

Since I've been home with you all summer, we've really been working on a more consistent routine for naps and bedtime. You've taught yourself how to fall asleep without having to nurse to sleep. You sleep in your crib really well, and seem to prefer it over being held to sleep. You typically take a really good, long morning nap and your others are shorter, but that's okay. We've had some really rough nights this month, and one night of you sleeping from 8:30-4:30! I've been doing a bit of sleep training with you and you're getting better. Until yesterday... you were pretty fussy in the afternoon and evening, and it looks like you might be in the beginning stages of getting your first teeth. Your gums look a little bit swollen on the bottom and you want to chew on everything! The amount of drool that has come out of you over the last week or so has been a little crazy. 

Things you love: people, being outside, seeing what's going on, chewing on anything you can get your hands on, your Mickey toy, baths, sitting upright, curling your toes (all the time!)

Things you dislike: When you drop your toys - you get really mad, when Mommy won't feed you every hour or two at night (we're working on this!), being on your tummy for more than 10-15 minutes at a time.

I have loved being home with you this summer! I love your outgoing personality and your adorable giggle! :)

Love, Mommy

Thursday, July 5, 2018

The Big 3-0

That's right, folks -- I am 30 years old today!! I'm sure that when I was born doctors didn't think I'd live to be thirty years old. But here I am, still kickin', doing pretty well if I do say so myself... :)
To live with a chronic illness isn't always easy, but I've tried to live the last 12+ years with an attitude of not allowing CF to control the path of my life.

In the last 12 years, I've graduated from high school. Met the love of my life. Graduated college. Got married. Became a teacher. Bought a house. Became a mother (x4). Started grad school....just to name a few things :) I am proud of how far I've come, but know that I'm not even close to living life as full as I absolutely can. I hope that I can soak up every minute of the next thirty years and then some!

To help celebrate THIRTY years, I am not asking for birthday gifts or a big party. I'd love to reach my fundraising goal of $5,000 for our Great Strides team. Currently, we have raised $3,285 which means we have $1,715 to go. Any donation to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation is GREATLY appreciated and helps go towards research for treatments to help improve the quality (and quantity) of my life!


Friday, June 8, 2018

Calvin, 4 Months

To my baby boy,
You're a third of the way to one year old and growing right before my eyes. I feel like this month has been the beginning of your many-to-come developmental milestones. This month you've found your feet, you've learned to fall asleep on your own without nursing, you're sleeping better at night, you're learning to grasp toys/objects and bring them to your mouth, you've started giggling, started sucking your left thumb, and you're making so many more sounds.

You are definitely a people-person and love to know what's going on (and that you can see me). You love riding in your carrier (as long as you're facing out), smiling at everyone (but you have a sweet spot for your sister!), and you always want to be sitting upright when you're awake. But I think the happiest you are is when you're in the bathtub! You get SO excited every single time, the whole time - kicking your legs fast and hard, flailing your arms, grinning with happiness - it's adorable! I can't wait for you to do swim lessons in a couple months! :)

Physically, you're growing so much, too. You're still in size two diapers, but they actually fit you like they're supposed to now. Your summer clothes are a mix of 3 and 6 months, and I'm guessing by the end of this month you'll completely outgrow your three month clothes. Along with your growth this month, your umbilical hernia has shrunk. You now have a regular sized belly button. :) You also have the longest eyelashes!

Sleep is something I've really been working on with you the last couple of weeks. Selfishly, I was over getting up a million times a night, and physically you're clearly not starving, so we're working on less wake-ups overnight. I know that four months tends to be a difficult time for sleep for babies, so I'm hoping this will help you. You've transitioned out of your swaddle and Love to Dream ("straight jacket or flying squirrel"), and now can sleep well in your sleep sack or just whatever you're wearing.

You're a drool/slobber mess, constantly chewing on your hands or anything you can get in your hands. Your hair stands straight up on your head and many people think we style it like a mohawk - it's all natural! :) You've rolled over, twice, from your belly to your back, but I'm guessing it wasn't intentional (or maybe you just didn't like the way it felt) because you haven't done it since. You love to be in your exersaucer and your in-between the door jumper because you can kick and use your legs.

Your adorable personality is growing daily. You're a silly boy who loves to smile at everyone. You especially like to smile and talk to me while you're nursing. Frequently, you'll unlatch just to smile or chat with me before going back for another drink -- it's super cute! This summer is going to be so much fun with you and Anna. You both adore one another and it's so sweet watching the two of you interact with each other. You love to smile and her while she talks to you or reads you books. This summer will be fun, but I know next summer will be even more exciting when you two can really begin to play together! :)

It's only going to get more fun from here and I'm looking forward to it. :)
Love, Mama

Monday, June 4, 2018

Ketchup

Hello out there! I'm still here, alive and well. I haven't posted in a while because I had been doing a lot of posting on my Colleen's Friends & Family Facebook page for Cystic Fibrosis Awareness Month. Within the last month, I've finished my sixth year of teaching, did a two week round of Cipro, found out I've been approved for the Monarch Vest, and had an amazing turn out for Great Strides.

The last post about my health discussed how I was trying a not-as-strong antibiotic that was breastfeeding friendly. Well, I took it for two weeks and ended on a Saturday. By Monday, I was already feeling crumby again. I don't know if the antibiotic just didn't kick everything, or if I caught something over the weekend, but I just wasn't back to feeling how I wanted. I decided, despite the difficulties with breastfeeding, that I needed to go on Cipro. So, for the last two weeks of the school year, I pumped and dumped while at work, and Calvin got extra frozen milk I had pumped earlier while he was with the babysitter. Aside from the nasty case of sun poisoning I got on my legs, I'm happy to say that I'm finally feeling back to normal lung-wise since having Calvin almost four months ago. We'll see what my numbers look like at the end of this month.

Later this week, a Hill-Rom representative will be coming to my house to bring my new Monarch Vest and will show me how to use it! The Monarch Vest is a portable, battery operated Vest!! Which means anytime we go out of town for the weekend, I don't have to lug my machine, tubes and Vest!! I'll be sure to post pictures once I'm familiar with it and use it for the first time. I've been trying to get a portable Vest for a few years now, so this is really exciting for me. :)

Another really exciting thing to share is the success of Great Strides this year!!! Our team walked in the Champaign, IL walk at the beginning of May. This was a new site for us, but I was a little bummed to see the turn out wasn't as large as I expected. Although, our team was wonderful!!!


We had over 30 walkers and raised over $3,000!! I'm hoping we'll be able to reach our goal of $5,000 before the year is over. I want to sincerely thank everyone for making the trek to Champaign to show your support for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, everyone fighting with CF and for me. It truly means a lot to me that you show up and walk with me & my family. :)

Last week wrapped up the end of my sixth year of teaching. This was my third year teaching third grade and working with my amazing partner. I'm sad to say that she's leaving our building, moving on to bigger and better things (she's going to be a kick-ass union president!), so I'll be getting a new partner this fall.

I'm also about half way done with my Master's program - woo hoo! This summer I'm taking my fourth class (research and statistics, ew!) and will only have three left (2 in the fall, 1 in the spring) until I'm done!!! So far, I've maintained a 4.0 GPA which I'm pretty proud of! I can't thank Lindsey and Alycia enough for doing this program with me; they're definitely helping me get through this!!

So now, here we are, the first week of June. I've already worked 2 days of my summer, with 11 1/2 days of professional development scheduled -- who says teachers don't work over the summer?! But in between PD and Master's assignments will be lots of time with my babies! I can't believe that at the end of this summer Anna will be four years old and Calvin will be six months old!
Today we signed up for the summer reading program at two local libraries, enjoyed a walk downtown, went to a new park and went to Steak n Shake for lunch. This afternoon, Anna and I created a Summer To-Do List, and we are slowly filling up our summer days. I love being able to spend this time with my kids because I feel like I miss out on so much during the school year.

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Calvin, 3 Months

To my baby boy,
You've become so much more interactive this month, I love it! You are usually so happy and have the biggest smile ever! You've finally learned how to use your voice, although smiling is more your thing. You've come to love your mat with the toys hanging on it, you'll lay on there for quite a while hitting, grabbing and kicking the toys. Hearing Anna's voice makes you smile and sometimes she'll sing to you in the car to calm you down if you're upset. Gone are the days where you lay on your belly across my chest when being held - you love to sit upright or stand, and look out at what's going on in the world. Anna's had her first t-ball practices this month and you have loved it! Being outside wears you out, but it makes you so happy. You're getting much better at holding your head up when sitting and prefer to do tummy time on a pillow instead of laying flat. You are slowing becoming less of a fan of your swing, too, unless there are some rings or toys to grab at.

You still nurse like a champ and are great at taking a bottle. Speaking of, you've now spent an entire month with the babysitter while I've gone back to work and you've done so well! You are happy while you're there and I think Anna enjoys having you there, too. Only 3 more weeks until summer break!

Nighttimes haven't changed much. You typically wake every two-four hours, just depends. One night you slept from 9:15-4:00...it was wonderful!! The next night you slept from about 9:00-3:00, which was nice as well. That was about it though....you usually go down around 9, wake sometime around midnight-1:00, then again around 3:00ish. The last few nights I've taken you out of your swaddle, because you kept busting your arms out, plus you're getting too long. Instead, you've been using your "Love to Dream Swaddle Up" which fits snuggly and keeps your arms bent up next to your head. It's taken some getting used to because you can now touch your face, but usually once I lay you down (sometimes you need the paci), you go right to sleep. I've started laying you on a special pillow, too, to help prevent your head from getting flat. You spend a good chunk of time in bed (on your back), so I'm hoping this will help a bit.

You've grown so much this month, that I've moved you up to size 2 diapers (still a little big) and you're outgrowing some of your three month clothes. Thankfully it has finally warmed up so you've been able to wear your t-shirt onsies (usually without pants because you get hot so quickly) before you grow out of them. Looks like you'll probably be in six month clothes this summer.

Just this week, you've also started unlatching while nursing just to smile and talk to me -- it's the sweetest thing ever! :)

You are such a sweet, happy boy. I can't wait to spend more time with you and your sister this summer. I love being your mommy!!

Saturday, April 21, 2018

Antibiotic Update

My nurse and I finally got into contact at about 5pm last night. She said that her and my doctor had discussed a couple options for me, keeping in mind that I want to continue breastfeeding. The first option was to begin Cipro, but they were completely against me nursing at all while on it for two weeks. This didn't appeal to me, but I understood where they were coming from. The second option was to try a different, not as strong, but breastfeeding-safe antibiotic called Cefdinir.

I went with option two. I'm a little nervous to try a new antibiotic, but hoping for the best. I'm really glad that I'll be able to continue nursing Calvin while on it. I'll be starting my first dose tonight. I'm hoping it'll be strong enough to kick whatever is hanging out in my lungs. Thankfully I haven't had anymore lung pain since yesterday morning (I think my treatments helped that), but I can definitely tell I'm more junky than usual.

Yep, putting in a Great Strides plug because it's true -- this is why we need a CURE for CF! Although I've been relatively stable over the last four years because of Kalydeco, chest infections still happen and antibiotics are necessary to maintain my lung function. If you'd like to help us find a cure for Cystic Fibrosis (so I never have to do treatments again!!), click here. :)

Friday, April 20, 2018

Being a Mom with CF

Warning: Post ahead is not all rainbows and sunshine. It's reality.

Being a mom with CF is hard. Being a mom is hard. Being a mom and having a full time job is hard. Putting CF on top of those things makes it even more difficult. I'll admit, I haven't been 100% with my treatments for the last few months. At the end of my pregnancy I was so tired and uncomfortable. And now, I'm just tired! There have been evenings where I skip my second treatment to get to be a little earlier and at the time, I think that's okay. Sleep is hard to come by with a toddler and a newborn, so I try to take advantage, but it sucks that I have to skip a breathing treatment to do it.

I've been back at work for only two weeks now and I just texted my CF doctor about beginning oral antibiotics. Anyone with CF knows the defeat you feel when you have to "call in the big guns". Luckily for me, those "big guns" are still oral antibiotics and not IVs, but it still sucks. I feel like CF is winning and that I'm losing.

A week ago I didn't feel the greatest. I was having some sinus drainage along with a sore throat. But with snow one day and 60-70 degree temperatures a few days later, I chalked it up to the crazy weather and maybe allergies. Everyone in our house just seemed a little extra snotty, so I didn't think it was a big deal. But when I woke up and it hurt to breathe this morning, that's when I knew it wasn't just crazy weather or allergies. My lungs are not happy with whatever has been hanging around over the last week.

So now's the big debate - what to do? The typical antibiotic I go on when feeling this way is Cipro which is not the best for a nursing mother because it could be transferred to baby through my milk....or at least that's what I think I remember from when Anna was a baby. With her, she slept longer stretches at night, so I could wait until the medication wasn't at it's strongest point and then nurse her. While at work, I pumped and dumped and she was given bottles of extra frozen milk from previous weeks.

This time around, Calvin still wakes up every three hours at night to nurse, so I'm not sure how that's going to work with the Cipro. After doing some of my own research online (LactMed) and talking with other CF mothers, it seems like the Cipro is strongest 3-4 hours after taking a dose. I think I can swing it by continuing to nurse and then giving a bottle of previously pumped milk during the 3-4 hour post-dosage time. I'll also look into giving Calvin some probiotics to help keep his tummy happy while he's exposed to some extra medicine. Continuing to nurse him is really important to me. He's doing so well nursing and I'm not going to let this bump in the road stop that. I feel like nursing my kids is one thing that my body has been able to do right, so it's going to take a lot to get me to stop. If I have to be hooked up to the pump extra over the next 10-14 days, then so be it.

As of right now, I'm still waiting to hear back from my doctor, but I'm planning on starting the Cipro asap-- hopefully tonight or tomorrow morning. I know I need it before this gets any worse. My plan for the weekend is to rest as much as possible while trying to complete my Master's assignments for the semester (since we're busy the next two weekends).

Sunday, April 8, 2018

Calvin, Two Months

To my little man,
Oh how much you've grown and changed over this month. I am so glad that I was able to spend every single day with you over the last two months. Sadly, tomorrow I return to work, but luckily it's only for 7 weeks before we're back together for summer break.

As soon as you hit one month, your hair on top started falling out...but only on top and it happened so quickly. A couple weeks later, it started growing back and now you have brownish-red original hair in the back and darker brown peach fuzz growing in on top. Daddy would joke with me when your hair was falling out on top that I was taking it out and gluing it onto your eyebrows because they grew in as quickly as the top was falling out. Aside from your hair changes this month, you've also had a couple weeks of acne (which is now gone) and have been growing so much! Right after you turned one month old, I switched you into size one diapers and had to pack away most of your newborn clothes. You're now fully in 3 month clothes (and have even outgrown a few of them), although you have lots of t-shirt onsies that you can't wear yet, and probably won't, because it's been too cold.

Your little personality has started to form this month. You have distinct cries for things (hangry, tired, gassy, and just annoyed). You've also started smiling intentionally which is just adorable and you really want to talk. You move your mouth like you're trying to say something, but typically you just grunt. Every now and then a coo will slip out, and sometimes you try so hard to talk that you make yourself spit up!

Tummy time has become more active this month. You sleep less on your belly now because you move too much. You are a very busy little boy, on your back and belly. You've already worn out a line of hair on the back of your head because you move your head back and forth so much from looking around. When on your tummy, you really work your legs! A few times this month you've rolled over (accidentally), rolled off your tummy pillow, and even scooted yourself forward across the bed and your tummy mat by digging in with your toes and pushing yourself. You even almost launched yourself backwards out of your swing by pushing against the bottom with your legs & feet (you will now always be buckled!).

You're not just active when you're awake, but also when you're asleep. You are the noisiest sleeper I know!! You grunt so much and you're pretty restless - you move around a lot. I swaddle you every night otherwise you keep yourself awake by hitting yourself in the face and moving all the time. At six weeks old, I moved you into your bedroom in your rock n play overnight. The first night you went down around 10, woke at 1, 4 and 6:45. It was refreshing for me! After a couple days, I tried putting you in your crib overnight and you did great! We now only use the rock n play when we travel, but you don't sleep in it as well. We were out of town for a few days recently and you didn't sleep the best while we were gone. As soon as we got back home, you slept great in your crib and were back to your 10pm, 1am, 4am overnight schedule. Maybe that means you're a homebody, maybe that means that you just prefer to sleep flat on your back.

Sadly, I'm heading back to work tomorrow. Thankfully, we only have 7 weeks of school left. Daddy got a new job and is starting tomorrow, too. Since he'll be in town now, you'll be going to the babysitter with Anna. She's very excited that you guys are going together and I'm excited that you'll be so close. I'm sad that I'm going to miss out on snuggling you every day, but I know that you'll be well taken care of.

Likes: ceiling fans (especially when they move), when people talk to you, nursing, being held, looking around at everything, bath time & getting rinsed with the shower head, sleeping in the swing when I do my treatments, when Anna talks or sings to you

Dislike: Being in one spot for too long, not having human contact, when my treatments stop - you want out of the swing immediately
  • Random things I forgot to add in your one month blog post: 
    • you had your tongue tie clipped in the hospital before we brought you home 
    • when you were born, your cord was wrapped around your neck (didn't cause any problems)
    • bruised face => jaundice
      • since I only had to push three times and you came out so fast, your entire face was bruised for about a week or so. All of this bruising led to you being slightly jaundice, but because you were an excellent nurser, it went away quickly and on its own  
This month you celebrated your first Easter (you and Adler both had adorable outfits with suspenders), met more friends and family, went to your/my first CF appointment, and grew a ton. I can't wait to see how much you've really grown at your appointment next week. I hope this next month flies by because it'll mean I'm almost done with school for the year!

Update from two month appointment: Calvin is in the 43rd%ile for his weight at 11lbs 14oz. He's 33rd%il for his height at 22.8 inches. :)

We love you, Calvin!! ~Mommy

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

How's Mama?

I can't believe it's been seven weeks since I've had Calvin! It still amazes me how slow time seems to go at the end of a pregnancy - anxiously anticipating the arrival of your child - and how fast time seems to go when they're actually here. It's also amazing how much I forgot about how much labor and delivery takes a toll on my body.

After having Anna, I think I was in this blissful fog, so excited to finally have my baby, that I blocked out any memories of recovery. This time around, it felt all new. Everything about Calvin's labor and delivery was so different from Anna's. The labor was longer and more intense, but the actual delivery was painless and very fast.

I'm not quite sure why, but I expected myself to bounce back so quickly after having Calvin. Maybe it was because I felt great after having him, I wasn't in a lot of pain at all. Just four days after giving birth (pushing a 7+ pound baby out of my body), I thought it would be totally normal to go with Tim to take him to the doctor, take Anna to school, and run a couple errands. The next day, I felt like I got hit by a truck (and my bleeding picked up a bit)! I pushed myself way too much and had to remind myself to slow down and take it easy. Sometimes that was easier said than done, but I tried. It was hard for me to feel like I was accomplishing anything - the dishes were piling up, I had laundry out the wazoo, and the house was a mess. I didn't like that I wasn't really able to do too much without feeling it, but I reminded myself that it was my job to recover and care for my newborn baby. Calvin and I spent a lot of time in our PJs on the couch. Forensic Files during the day, and the Olympics overnight, became the background noise of the first several weeks of my maternity leave. In order to really help take it easy, about 2-3 weeks after he was born, we decided to send Anna back to the babysitter in the morning. This took some stress off of me - I didn't have to worry about fighting her for a nap, I didn't have to bring the baby out in public to take her to school every day, and I didn't have to try to get us out of the house on time - except to pick her up from school where we just stayed in the car anyway.

After about 3-4 weeks, I started feeling back to myself. My bleeding slowed down a lot, Calvin was nursing really well, my milk supply regulated (it came in A LOT and I had to pump several times the first week or two to feel comfortable) and I was enjoying my time at home with him.

Health-wise, I've been feeling pretty good. I slacked on my treatments over the first week or two, but once I got my Cayston round in the mail, that pushed me to get my treatments in daily. The Cayston really helped move a lot of mucus out of my lungs, that I'm guessing, was trapped/compressed from baby taking up my whole body while pregnant. I just had my first CF clinic visit since having Calvin and I had a pretty good visit (aside from the added three hours in the city due to a flat tire). My lung function was around 80% which is a little lower than I would like it to be, I'm typically 85-88%, but I shouldn't be surprised because I haven't been 100% with my treatments over the last few months. I'm hoping that returning to work and getting back into a routine will help with that. I'm also really hoping that I can start some sort of exercise this spring/summer to help boost my lung function even more...and work on my beautiful squishy tummy that's decided to stick around for a while. I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but just a little wider and squishier this time around.

I've also been back to my MFM team and won't go back unless we plan to have more kids. Everything checked out well with them, so there wasn't really much to discuss. It was pretty cool though, on my way to the appointment, in the lobby, we ran into Jim, the embryologist! He was one of the doctors who helped along our IVF journey to get pregnant with Calvin. He took care of our embryos and called me with updates before the transfer. He was the one that 'picked' Calvin to implant back in May. It was really great running into him. He remembered me, gave me a huge hug and was so excited to see both Anna and Calvin. What a perfect way to wrap up this little journey by running into one of the men that helped make it all happen. :-)

Now I plan to soak up the remaining days of maternity leave with my baby boy. I'll be returning to work on April 9th. Calvin will be a day over two months old then. Luckily though, once I return, I'll only have 7-8 weeks of the school year left before summer break, so I'm looking forward to that. I'm hoping it'll fly by quickly.

Saturday, March 17, 2018

Great Strides 2018

Our 2017 Bloomington team! :-)
Great Strides season is upon us! This year, the foundation has condensed several of it's walk sites in IL, so it took me a bit to decide which one our team should attend (the two we normally do are now gone). This year we're going to try to help Champaign's walk grow with our large team.

This year is also a special year for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. This is the 30th year of Great Strides! It also happens that I'll be turning 30 years old this summer! When I was born, in 1988, I don't think anyone expected me to live this long, let alone be thriving!

Since this year marks 30 years of living, thriving and beating CF, I'd love for this to be our biggest Great Strides year yet!

*Most number of people registered
*Biggest turn out in Champaign
*Largest amount raised for CF -- our team goal is $5,000 (or more)

To reach these goals this year, I need YOUR help. If you'd like to walk with us in Champaign this year, please make sure that your register online for free: http://fightcf.cff.org/goto/colleen30

If you're unable to attend the walk with us, but would still like to make a donation: http://fightcf.cff.org/goto/colleen30

If you're interested in walking at another location around the state or country: http://fightcf.cff.org/site/PageServer?pagename=strides_searchResults

Whether you can join us or not, to help raise awareness of CF and it's need for donations, feel free to share the link on your social media with friends, family, co-workers, etc. The more we make people AWARE of CF, the more likely we are to collect DONATIONS. And as we know, DONATIONS go to RESEARCH for MEDICATIONS and hopefully one day, A CURE!

Thursday, March 8, 2018

Calvin, One Month

Dear Calvin (who am I kidding, you still go by Brother about 90% of the time),


This was the fastest month ever! I feel like you've grown so much right before my eyes!

Our first month with you has already been an adventure. You came home from the hospital and were so calm and relaxed, and about 10 days in you realized this is a lot different than the last nine months in the womb. Thankfully, you only gave us a hard time for a few days. :) The last couple of weeks, you're starting to be awake more during the day and just within the last couple of days you've started to become a bit interactive. I've gotten three real smiles out of you this week and you're beginning to track things with your eyes, although you go cross-eyed quite a bit and make the funniest faces!

You are the noisiest baby I know! You grunt like no other, your cry is loud, you fart like a grown man, your burps can be quite powerful and you like to hum when you nurse or when you're relaxed. It cracks me up! One night you were humming so loud while you were nursing, you woke Daddy up. And your farts...ha! Let's just say you fit right in, buddy! :) But sometimes those farts are hard on your little body and you get so angry. You squirm, claw at your face and turn yourself red until it finally comes out. I've started burping you in the middle and at the end of your feedings which seems to have cut back on your gas lately, so that's good. Speaking of clawing at your face though, the first week or so home you scratched yourself several times, even drawing blood a couple times. Thankfully, many of your shirts and PJs have built-in mittens on the sleeves - those have been wonderful. Because you struggle to control those silly hands, swaddling you at bedtime is a must! Luckily you've been good about falling asleep without your paci because you don't hold it in very well. You usually just like it to comfort-suck.

Things you love: cuddling/being held - you love human contact (you're so my child, Daddy's calling you a mama's boy and I'm totally okay with that for now), sleeping on your tummy, being worn in the carrier, nursing

Things you don't love: being gassy, being put down, when my treatments turn off (you fall asleep every time they're going and instantly wake up when I'm done...every time!),  getting your diaper changed, getting clothes on, getting lotion on, your first bath (your second one was a little better - less tears)

This month we've done a lot more than I originally expected when I was pregnant. Although I still worry about germs, we've gone out in public quite a bit. You've been to many stores and you've met lots of people. It hasn't been too bad because you're either in your carseat under a blanket or being worn in the carrier, so your exposure to unknown human contact has been very limited. I appreciate those who have limited their contact because they weren't feeling well or had a family member not feeling well. Technically, it's still flu season, so we are still trying to stay as healthy as possible.

You have been nursing so well! You were born at 7lbs 5.5oz, went home from the hospital at 6lbs 14oz and were back up to 7lbs 1oz at just 4 days old. Now, at a month old, you weigh 9lbs, 7oz and are 21 1/4 inches long! That means you have gained 2lbs and grown almost 2 inches!
Within minutes of you being born, you were rooting around, and you latched on so well the first time that you nursed for an hour! My milk supply came in pretty quickly, Friday night into Saturday. It came in so quickly that I had to pump several times within the first week or two just to not feel so engorged. With all of that pumping, and using my Hakkaa overnight, I have 20+ ounces in the freezer already.
During the day, you typically nurse every two hours. I've been trying to get us to bed between 9:00-10:00 and you've been sleeping til about 1am which has been nice. That's usually your longest stretch, and then they get a bit shorter/closer together as we get closer to the morning.

I've been much more comfortable nursing this time around and it really helped my confidence when you just knew what to do. I've also been more comfortable this time around because while I was pregnant, I came across a clothing line called Latched Mama that makes nursing-friendly clothing. They're super cute, comfortable and make nursing discrete and easy. We've successfully nursed at Menards, Lowes, the library, JC Penny, and Barnes & Nobel thanks to my awesome nursing tops! :) Although I don't look forward to pumping when I head back to work next month, I'm hoping our nursing relationship continues to thrive and lasts a least a year.

Brother, you were a long awaited addition to our family. Everything about you being here is right. I can't wait to watch you and Anna grow up together. <3 p="">
Love,
Mommy

Monday, February 26, 2018

Life With Two Kids

Calvin is just over two weeks old and I feel like he's already growing right before my eyes!

This kid loves to sleep on his belly (don't worry, we never leave him unattended)
The first week home, Calvin was so content and relaxed. He loved tummy time and it would often put him to sleep. He ate about every two hours, sometimes 3-4 hours overnight and was very easy going. Around 10 days or so, we hit a rough patch where he got really gassy and fussy in the evenings, sometimes being awake, uncomfortable and sometimes crying for hours. I was getting a bit worried that we were going to have a colicky baby on our hands, but right around two weeks old, it stopped. Just in case, we stocked up on gripe water and I made sure to burp him extra during and after feeds to help try to ease some gas. Thankfully, the last few evenings have been better....but not the overnights.

In typical newborn fashion, Calvin's been getting his days and nights mixed up. He sleeps a lot during the day, having maybe only an hour or so of awake time, and then he wants to be awake late in the evenings or even in the middle of the night. There have been a couple nights when he's been wide awake in the wee hours of the morning when I am so tired.

I definitely forgot how exhausting it can be to have a newborn at home! But man, those baby snuggles make it well worth it!! This little guy loves to be cuddled! Between feeding and changing his diaper at least every two hours, it's hard to get things done around the house, but we're adjusting.

Calvin's first trip to Menards, 4 days old
Anna has really taken to her role has big sister, especially over the last few days. When we first brought Calvin home, she was kind of indifferent to him being here. But once she realized the habits and demeanor of a newborn, she quickly learned to get excited about the little things like when he lifts his head really high during tummy time, when he smiles (even if it's just in his sleep) and when he's awake with his eyes open (she wants to take a picture every time).

She's great about helping out which has been so nice! She loves to be responsible for putting his pacifier in when he's crying or it falls out, she likes to pick out his outfit for the day or jammies, and has even helped change a couple diapers.


Tim and I are adjusting to our new roles as well. It's still weird to think we have two kids. The other day I was talking about going somewhere "with the kids"....it sounded so different, but so good! Anna's been learning how to be patient when she wants me to do something when I'm feeding Calvin. She's also learning that Daddy is pretty awesome at doing things with her, too. With Tim back at work, I am happy to say that I've been able to successfully get out of the house with both kids more than once - swim class when Calvin was a week old, and, of course, a Target run. :)

The first few days after having Calvin home, I wanted to be up and moving - back to normal. I forgot how much I needed to let my body recover. Monday after he was born, we took Anna to school, ran some errands and took Calvin to the doctor. On Tuesday, I felt like I got hit by a truck. I had to remind myself that my body went through a huge ordeal of childbirth and that it was going to take time to feel "normal" again. Now, about 2.5 weeks later, I'm starting to feel like a normal human being again. Calvin's nights are pretty inconsistent, so I'm learning how to survive off of broken sleep, and I'll admit that we spend a lot of time cuddling on the couch, watching TV (currently watching lots & lots of Forensic Files).

This is how we spend a lot of our time during the day :)
Overall, the last 2.5 weeks have flown by! Life as a family of four just fits. I love the way everything has been going and I'm so excited for this new chapter in our lives.
The whole family, even Archie got in on this one!

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Anna - 3 1/2


It's been two weeks since you officially became 3 1/2, but Mommy was a little busy that day having your brother, so I wasn't able to get around to this post. That's right - you're a big sister now!! Calvin was born on the 8th of February which makes you two exactly three and a half years apart, to the day. :)

Meeting Calvin for the first time in the hospital
Three and a half is full of sass...still. Some days are more so than others, some days you're just as sweet as ever. You're quite opinionated when it comes to things, but I have to just remind myself that I'd rather you be striving for independence than relying on Daddy and I for everything. Sometimes I have a hard time staying patient when you're trying to get things done on your own, but I'm working on that. You amaze me every day with how much you can do and will try on your own. You're also starting to understand sarcasm which Daddy and I think is pretty awesome.
You love making silly and different faces/poses and having us take your picture, then you love to laugh at them! You remind me so much of your cousin Isaac when you do this! :)



You still love school and have finally opened up and shown your personality while you're there. Your assistant told me one day as she was getting you in the car, "I heard Anna's voice today! She went in the bathroom and just started singing!" You had no idea that anyone on the other side of the door could hear you! She said it was the cutest thing ever and she was so happy that you were finally coming out of your shell. You talk about all of the different friends you have at school, and are also learning to mimic behaviors, so we've had to talk several times about doing what's right, not what other people do....I have a feeling we're going to have that conversation a lot as you grow and learn about how to be your own person. Its fun listening to you talk about the work you do at school ("Mommy, we don't play at school, we work!") and I love seeing your papers you bring home. You love to do Play-doh, painting, writing and sometimes scooping/pouring. You know all of your letters and probably about half of your letter sounds. You can write almost all of your letters independently without a model, you're very curious how things are spelled, and you've started talking about rhyming words recently. You seem to be equal parts interested in academics, but also very creative. You love to color, draw, sing and dance.



You're adjusting to being a big sister pretty well. When you came to meet Calvin in the hospital, within about 10 seconds of seeing him, you sneezed in his face! :) You asked me to put him on the ground to see if he could crawl, and you wanted to know why he wasn't laughing when you were tickling him. You really had no clue what a newborn would be like. The first couple days at home, you were pretty indifferent to him being there, although one of the first mornings, you laid in our bed next to him and held his hand for a while - it was adorable! Every now and then, you'd stop what you were doing and run to see what he was doing. You wanted to bring him toys to hold and play with, but didn't quite understand why he wasn't interested or grabbing them from you.
After a few days, you've starting to warm up to the idea of him sticking around. You love when you get to be a "big sister" or "helper" and help out with anything -- picking out his clothes, grabbing things for me while I'm nursing, putting his paci back in for him, etc. It's sweet listening to you talk to him and I'm so excited to watch your relationship grow!


You've grown so much in just six short months, physically and independently. You're now too tall for most 3T pants, so you mostly have to wear 4T leggings. And since you're in some 4T pants, you insist on wearing ALL 4T things, so we have to remind you that some of your 3T stuff still fits -- you look at the tags and let me know what sizes things are all the time, it's pretty funny. You've also really shown some independence this fall/winter by insisting on getting yourself dressed every morning before school. You have come up with some very unique combinations, lots of layering, and sometimes you even like to style your own hair. It gets a laugh out of Daddy and I (and I'm sure your teachers love it, too!), but I figure, why not?! You think its wonderful that you can wear whatever you want and I love that you're getting yourself ready in the morning.


You've got the term "threenager" down to a tee and you keep us on our toes. Although you insist that you don't, you still need a nap in the morning to make your evenings pleasant. According to you, when you turn four, you won't have to take naps anymore and when you're six, you're going to get a wiener dog. You're already planning your fourth birthday party to be a "nail party", so we'll see if that theme sticks around for the next six months or if you decide to change it. Sass and all, I love your personality....well, I could do with a little less sass. We are so proud of you and I'm so excited to see you grow into your new roll as big sister! :)

Love,
Mommy

Friday, February 16, 2018

The Day I Became A Mother, Again

Wednesday morning, I woke up with a dull ache in my back along with the lingering discomfort from the days before. At first I thought it was because I decided to wear my boots to work the day before instead of my tennis shoes, but when it was coming in random waves with contractions, I realized it could be the lovely "back labor" I've heard about.

It was a scheduled half day of school, which meant that Anna didn't have school, so Tim decided to take her to Bloomington to hang out with Grandma, Shirley, Liam and Xavier for the day. I went to work determined to make it through the half day without too much pain. Thankfully my sub had been hanging out and shadowing me for the last few weeks, so she was very willing to step in and help me out on Wednesday with the kids. I was happy when 10:40 rolled around and the students were dismissed because that just meant the rest of the afternoon was sitting around in meetings.

My contractions started to become more noticeable towards the end of the meeting, maybe around 1 or 2 o'clock. When they didn't back off, I decided to download a contraction timer on my phone and start timing them while at work around 3:00. They were coming every 8-10 minutes, lasting about 30-45 seconds. I ended up staying at work til about 4pm, just getting a few things together (but mostly talking to my teacher friends). When I got home, the contractions continued, and my friend Kristen, who's studying to become a doula, recommended I take a warm bath to see if that changed anything. The contractions remained steady, still about 8-10 minutes apart and it was getting closer to 5 o'clock.

Since Tim still wasn't home from Bloomington and I knew it took him an hour to get home, I decided I should probably let him know that I was having contractions for the last several hours. I also decided to contact my doctor to let them know. I really didn't want to get my hopes up that this really was labor. My OB said it sounded like I was in "early labor" and she wanted me to come in and get checked since I lived so far away and active labor could begin at any time (or not at all). I let her know that Tim wouldn't be home for at least another hour and that we'd come in as soon as he got home. I was torn between getting excited and thinking we were heading to the hospital for no reason and that they'd send me home.

The contractions started picking up a bit in intensity while I waited for Tim to come home. Thank goodness Kristen was there to coach me through everything, even if it was by phone. She gave me tips on how to handle the pain of back labor and what positions might be helpful. This was all new to me because I didn't have this type of labor with Anna.

Tim dropped Anna off with my friend Natalie, on his way home from Bloomington. Anna wasn't too excited about not coming home, but Natalie assured us that she was fine as soon as Tim left. When he got home, we made sure to have everything we needed in case we ended up staying at the hospital. I was not looking forward to the drive because sitting through the contractions and back labor was very uncomfortable. At home, I had been walking and then leaning against something during contractions because that's what felt the best. My contractions moved up to about 4-5 minutes apart on the way to the hospital - I was starting to feel like this was the real deal.

When we got to the hospital around 7:30-8, I made Tim park in the parking garage so that I could walk a bit to the entrance, hopefully to progress things along. Thankfully, since I had contacted my OB, they knew I was coming and check-in was pretty quick. The wheeled me up to the labor & delivery floor and put us in a triage room. I wasn't officially admitted to the hospital yet, I was just there to be monitored to see if I really was in labor. They hooked me up to the monitor, checked my cervix (3 cm) and watched my contractions for a little while. I was super uncomfortable just sitting in the bed, so I finally asked if I could be unhooked from the monitor so I could walk around. The staff was great and very supportive of me doing whatever I needed to do to be comfortable. With my beautiful hospital gowns on, Tim and I walked the halls for a while. I leaned against the handrail on the wall whenever I had a contraction and Tim rubbed my lower back to help distract me from the pain. I don't know how many laps we made around the floor, but it was working. My contractions continued and when I got tired of walking, we went back to the triage room and I sat on a labor ball which helped a lot. After being there for about 2 hours, they checked me again and I was 4cm dilated, so they decided to admit me and put me in a real labor/delivery room! I was SO excited! After roaming those halls and feeling the labor progressing, I told Tim, "they are not sending me home feeling like this!" There was no hesitation from them after they checked me, so that was good. The nurse was going to wheel me down to the labor room, but I asked to walk so that I could keep everything progressing. We had to stop a couple times along the way, but we made it to the other end of the hall into room 318.

They hooked me up to the monitor again, so I sat on the labor ball and continued to labor while they began getting everything ready. It took three nurses and four pokes to get my IV in (that sucked), but once it was in, I had to get through at least 1/2 a bag of fluid before they would come do my epidural. The anesthesiologist came in around midnight or 12:30 to get my epidural started. I was so ready for some relief! Getting the epidural itself wasn't too bad - some stinging and some poking, but I knew it would be worth it. The anesthesiologist told me it would start working soon....but soon never came! After an hour, I only had some tingling from my knees down. The anesthesiologist was surprised, but had an idea. He decided to put a different, stronger medication through the epidural to see if that would work. He said it should be working within 10-20 minutes. After 20 minutes, nothing. My legs were feeling a bit tingly and a little heavy, but I could still feel every contraction. I was getting SO frustrated and exhausted. We decided it was time to pull the current epidural and try a second one. When the nurse helped me move, my legs started feeling different - heavier. It was like it was slowly starting to work. My contractions were fading! The anesthesiologist waited in the room for a few minutes and since things were looking like they were working, we decided not to start a new epidural. The anesthesiologist was completely baffled by what was going on, saying he's never seen anything like this before. I was just glad to finally have some relief. Since they had the epidural working, they gave me some Pitocin through my IV to try to help me keep progressing.

Unfortunately, the relief didn't last very long. Slowly, the feeling of my contractions started coming back. I called for the nurse and she decided that I needed to keep switching the side I was laying on in order for the epidural to be effective. I was miserable laying in the bed and I was starting to have intense pain in the left side of my pelvis, right under my hip. They thought it was just the way the baby was positioned. After flipping back and forth forever, I think I was around 6cm. I couldn't handle the pain anymore and asked if I could go on my hands and knees. The nurse seemed a bit reluctant, but I was desperate to try anything for some relief. She and another nurse got me situated on my hands and knees, Tim rubbed my back when the pain was really bad, and I just stayed in this position for a little while (maybe 30-45 mins?) hoping it would help. After a while, the pain/pressure was terrible. They decided to flip me over and check me -- I was 10 cm and Brother was right there, ready to come! I WAS SO RELIEVED! I couldn't wait to meet him after this long night of labor!

The nurses got everything set up - my legs in the stirrups, the mirror pulled down, and everything ready for the doctor. I was so excited! They told me as soon as I felt some pressure, I could push. I think before I even started pushing, I could see his head a bit. With that first push, I could definitely see the top of his head. The nurses were very encouraging and after 3 pushes, baby was here!!! They placed him on my chest and I was in awe! I couldn't believe how tiny he was and what an adorable round little face he had.


They let me hold him for a few minutes while they worked on getting my placenta out. It was still up quite a ways, so they needed to push on my tummy to help get it out. The nurse took Brother to get measured and weighed while they worked on me. It took longer than expected because when it finally did come out, it wasn't all there. After lots of pushing on my belly (not numb) and digging around (numb, thankfully), they were able to get all of the pieces. While they were doing this, Tim was holding the baby and I was just staring at his cute little face on the mirror. I tossed around both name choices we had, in my head, and decided that he definitely looked like a Calvin. It just fit.

When they were done working on me, Tim was able to give the baby back to me. He immediately started rooting around, so I was able to start nursing him right there - it was so cool! He knew exactly what to
do. Over the next hour, he nursed while Tim and I agreed (pretty easily) that his name would be Calvin. *We never discussed middle names during my pregnancy, so his middle name was discussed over the next day or so and only decided on about a 1/2 hour before we were discharged.

Calvin Ronald was born on Thursday, February 8th at 5:16am. He weighed 7lbs 5.5oz and is 19.5 inches long.


The rest of the morning went smoothly. Surprisingly the crappy epidural took forever to wear off in my legs. Slowly we started calling, texting, and notifying family and friends. Because Calvin was so healthy, he was able to stay with us in the room, which was really nice and started our breastfeeding off very, very well. Although my labor was long, painful and exhausting, the fact that I only had to push three times made the ending a lot happier. :)

**Fun Facts: Anna and Calvin both came on their own at 39 weeks exactly. They were both born on the 8th of the month and within the same hour of each other. They are exactly 3 1/2 years apart.