4 & 5 Weeks

Friday, June 9 -  10 days post-transfer, 4 weeks pregnant?
Wow! I can't believe our first round of IVF worked! This morning I had my first blood draw to see if I am pregnant. Dr. Loret De Mola called me, with Jim the embryologist and some nurses on speaker, and told me, "You're going to be a mommy again!" I was shaking and so excited! My level was 188 and he said that everything looks great! He wants to me continue the progesterone shots and come back Tuesday for a follow-up blood test to make sure that my HCG levels are increasing appropriately.

It's weird because I don't feel pregnant, so I think it's going to take some time for it to really sink in - I can't wait for our first ultrasound! This pregnancy is going to be completely different than my last two. Judging by my levels, we've got one little peanut growing in there - thank goodness! That immediately gives me some reassurance because I know that I can and have carried one baby successfully to term. The part that worries me is my cervix. Is it going to permanently have issues because of what happened with the twins? Or is it a pregnancy by pregnancy issue and it'll be completely fine? Of course I won't know the answer to these questions until much further on, but they're already on my mind.

I will try my best to take it easy, but sometimes that's difficult with an almost 3 year old at home. I've been on lifting restrictions for the last ten days and that's been really hard. I wasn't supposed to lift over 20 lbs. Luckily Anna's a tiny little thing and is only about 24lbs, but telling her I can't lift her was sad, and of course, there were times when I just needed to. Tim was excellent about doing things for her so that I wasn't straining myself. I feel like I should keep those restrictions on myself until/unless I'm told otherwise. I am going to be picking apart every little symptom and feeling for the next nine months, but if it brings us a healthy baby, then it'll be 100% worth it.

I just want to shout to the whole world that it worked!!! Hopefully soon people will be reading this! :)

Wednesday, June 14 - 4 weeks, 6 days *I think*
Yesterday I went in for repeat blood work to make sure my levels were increasing & they are! I was at 731 yesterday with my progesterone greater than 40 which is excellent! Our first ultrasound is scheduled for a week from today. I'm a little worried that it's going to be too early to see/hear the heart beat, but I hope not.
I still don't feel pregnant at all. My boobs are slowly beginning to get a little tender, but otherwise I've been feeling relatively normal - maybe a little more tired than usual. Tim jokes that I already have "pregnancy brain" any time I mix something up or can't think of a word...I think part of it is just "I'm on summer break and don't want to think-brain".

Friday, June 16 - 5w, 1d
It's been a week since I found out that I'm pregnant and sometimes I forget, but yesterday into today, the fatigue has hit! I was exhausted last night and slept pretty well overnight. I also took a two hour nap this afternoon while Anna was sleeping. I don't remember being this tired with either of my other pregnancies, but they say each one is different. My boobs are definitely not sore yet, but I have felt a little bit of stretching pains now and then. Pretty much nothing out of the ordinary except feeling like my energy is gone today! Thank goodness Anna is pretty good at entertaining herself, but I still feel bad that I don't feel like doing anything. Hopefully this doesn't last long.

Today's "issue" (which isn't really an issue) is continuing my progesterone. I'll be on it through my first trimester, through my 12th week, which means 7 more weeks to go. I can either continue with my one evening injection which is much less expensive, but makes us feel like we have a "curfew" at night because it has to be given at the same time each night and we've been doing 8:30. Or, I can do the vaginal suppositories, which I was on when I was pregnant with Anna. They're kind of gross, but can be done twice a day (morning/night) without such strict time restrictions. The problem with those is that they're expensive! I just picked up 15 doses, which would be 7.5 days worth, for $40! I'm not sure that I want to pay $40 a week for the next seven weeks... Right now I'm having the fertility clinic call it into my mail order pharmacy to see if I'll be able to get a larger quantity or lower copay (or both). If not, I might just continue with the injections because they are way less expensive. We'll see what pans out over the next few days. Right now I'm going to continue the injections, I have ten left, until we hear from the mail order pharmacy.

Monday, June 19 - 5w, 4d
Holy fatigue! Friday, yesterday, and today I've taken a nap when Anna takes hers. Thankfully she's been sleeping for around two hours each day, so I've been able to get in a nice nap, too. I'm taking this as a good sign that our little Bean is developing as he/she should. :) I can't wait to see him/her on Wednesday!

Wednesday, June 21 - 5w, 6d
Today's the day we get to see our little bean and I'm so nervous. I'm so afraid something is going to be wrong, or there isn't going to be a baby there. I imagine this is what it's going to be like for the next nine months before doctor appointments...Of course the appointment isn't until 2:30, so we have a lot of time to waste this morning.

Yesterday Anna and I went shopping at Target and she wanted to get the baby some clothes. She picked out a pink Superman onsie (so they can match) and I grabbed a blue one, so we have those ready to share when we find out what this baby is. Anna is very excited already. She pats my belly sometimes and talks about the baby in my belly. I told her that we're going to see it today and a few days ago she asked, "I can hold the baby?!" I explained that we have to wait for the baby to grow really big ("like me?" - not that big) before it comes out and we can hold it.

Evening update: We were able to see the sac surrounding baby and the yolk sac, but the baby was too small to see or hear a heart beat (she said just smaller than 3mm). As soon as she put the ultrasound thing in, Anna said, "Aww, there's the baby" even though she had no idea what she was looking at and it wasn't on the screen. It was cute and I'm excited to take her to future ultrasounds so she can watch Bean grow. I was right about how far along I am, and the nurse and doctor reassured us that everything looks wonderful for this gestational age. They weren't surprised that we couldn't see the heart beat, but the doctor is going to be gone next week so he wanted to see all of his IVF patients before he leaves.
The nurse originally said they wanted to see me back in two weeks to confirm a heart beat, but the doctor told me I'm welcome to go see my high-risk team now. Since I'm going to Chicago for my CF appointment tomorrow, I'll probably contact my high-risk team on Friday to see when the soonest I can get in. I'm anxious and excited to get back to that team. I love them and I'm hopeful that they'll do everything they can to help ease my stress during this pregnancy. I feel slightly reassured after today's appointment, but I'm still a little stressed because we couldn't hear the baby. I was so nervous throughout the whole appointment, but the doctor and nurse assured us several times that everything looks perfectly normal. For now, I just go day by day until I have another appointment scheduled.

I'm looking forward to seeing my CF doctor tomorrow. I didn't get to see her in April, so we haven't really discussed losing the boys yet (I did call her the day it happened, but we haven't fully talked about it). She know we're going through the IVF process, but she doesn't know I'm pregnant. I'm excited to tell her. :) Tomorrow I'll be six weeks. It seems like I've known for so much longer and that I should be further along, but that's what happens when you find out at 4 weeks!