Thursday, September 14, 2017

16 & 17 Weeks

Thursday, August 31 - 16 weeks
We're 16 weeks along in this journey and I cannot wait for my doctor's appointment this afternoon!


It's been almost 5 weeks since my last appointment, and it's been 8 weeks since my last ultrasound! Today I have a feeling of excitement for my appointment, and that feels a lot better than nerves and anxiety. I haven't had any terrible dreams in the last couple weeks, although we are approaching the timing in my pregnancy when I started getting uncomfortable and having issues. I really don't like comparing the pregnancies, because carrying two babies is completely different than carrying one, but it was so recent, it's hard not to compare sometimes.

I've been feeling so good lately, pregnancy wise, though. Sometimes, I don't feel like I'm pregnant at all, which is wonderful. Of course I have some groin and low uterus stretching when getting up after I've been sitting/laying for a while, but I know that's perfectly normal for this gestational age. I have very normal energy level -- considering how exhausted I am from back to school and starting my masters, I'd say that I've been feeling really good.

At my last appointment, they told me at 16 weeks they'd start checking my cervix to monitor it for any changes. Today, we start that. It's a little nerve-wrecking to watch for your cervix to begin failing, and hoping for the best, but going off of the way my body's been feeling, I think we'll be in the clear today. I should be going back every two weeks until 24 weeks, which is what they told me last time. I don't know what's so significant about 24 weeks, but we'll see what they say today. I just can't wait to look at that screen and see Little Brother's body moving all around, look at his face developing and just watch him for a little bit - soak it in, realize that this is really happening again.

Update after appointment: It was SO good to see you, little brother!! The ultrasound tech and I were both surprised to see that you were basically folded in half today! I can't imagine you're that squished yet, but maybe you just like to fold up -- just like Anna did. You looked good. We were able to watch you move your arms and legs a lot, wave, open and close your mouth, and just wiggle all around. It was also confirmed today that you are indeed a boy. It was so reassuring to see all of your fingers and toes, your beautiful little face and perfectly growing body.

My cervix is holding up very well. They don't want it to be under 2.5 and mine was measuring a 5, so I was (and doctors were) very pleased. I'll be going every two weeks for an ultrasound to check my cervix, placenta, and fluid around baby. This will end at 24 weeks because technically then baby will be "viable", so placing a cerclage (stitch closing the cervix) is not seen as effective at this gestational age - this is what was explained to me this afternoon. I'm hoping that everything continues to go well.

I'm still having a hard time wrapping my mind around bringing home another baby. It just feels very surreal. I think I'm still struggling to really accept that we'll be having another child in our house later this winter because I'm still afraid to get my hopes up. I see my growing belly. I saw him moving all around today. I'm slowly starting to feel the beginning flutters. But I still had to tell myself at the ultrasound today, "that's my child". I feel like I'm on the outside looking into someone else being pregnant. It sounds weird to put it into words - I don't know how to explain it. Of course I'm excited to have another baby, but I still have this fear in the back of my mind that we won't be bringing him home.

Friday, September 8th - 17w, 1d
Hey little brother! It's been a week since your appointment and just another week until I'll see you again. It's a good feeling knowing that I'm going so often right now. This was about the time I started to feel off and funky with the twins, so it's really reassuring to feel so normal right now. I really cannot complain about this pregnancy at all.
Your little flutters are becoming a little more noticeable, although still few and far between. I'm excited for when they get stronger so Daddy and Anna can feel them - I think Anna's going to love that!

Daddy and I have started talking about names for you. We have a couple ideas, but nothing that we absolutely love yet. We plan to keep your name a secret until you're born - most likely because it won't be decided on til then anyway!
We also bought you a new stroller this last weekend. We were up visiting friends and we all went to Buy, Buy, Baby and they had a nice stroller on clearance for super cheap. We took it back to our friends' place to see if we liked it and we did. We got such a good deal. So now we'll plan on selling Anna's old car seat/stroller combo so that we can get you a new car seat that fits in with this type of stroller. Your closet is full of stuff - diapers, wipes, clothes, toys, books, etc. I'm getting excited to start working (watching Daddy work) on your room. Hopefully once things settle down for him at work he'll be able to start spending time on it.

Monday, September 11 - 17 w, 4d
Not too much to update here. I've been feeling really good the past few days. I haven't felt much movement from you, but I know it's still early. I'm really looking forward to my appointment on Thursday. It's just an ultrasound - no doctor visit. Just looking forward to more good news.
Daddy, Anna and I went to Hobby Lobby this weekend to try to get some ideas for your bedroom. They had some cute stuff that gave us a few ideas, but nothing set in stone yet. Daddy has a lot to do in your room before we can even think to start decorating. I can't believe we're almost half way through this pregnancy already. It feels like it's flying by! I know February is going to be here before we know it.

Wednesday, September 13 - 17w, 6d
I've started to have a fear creep slowly back into my thoughts over the last day or so. I'm terrified that when I go for my ultrasound tomorrow that you aren't going to be moving. I'm so afraid that you won't have a heart beat.
Physically, I've been feeling just fine and I have had no signs of issues, but something is making me really nervous. I don't know if it's because things are finally starting to settle down with work, school, home, etc., so I'm thinking about you more often. I don't know if it's because we're just getting closer to the day when the twins were born (19w, 4d), or the anniversary of when Alayna died. There's a lot of sadness approaching and I guess I'm just expecting something else to go wrong, too.

1 comment:

  1. I am so glad to hear your feeling well and your cervix is doing exactly what it should. I hope your appointment eased your anxiety and baby brother is doing amazingly well!

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