I've always imagined that I'd grow up to get married, be a teacher, and a mommy. So far, I've got one of those goals accomplished, about half-way towards the teacher one, and not quite at the mommy stage yet. There are so many things to consider when having a child (more than I could even image as I was growing up): Do we have enough money? Do we have space? Will we be good parents? What will we do with the baby when I go back to work?...this list can go on and on, for a 'normal, healthy' couple. But add a mom with CF in the mix and the questions start looking like: Will our child have CF? How will my body handle a pregnancy? How will I keep myself and the baby healthy if he/she has CF? How far do we want to go to 'prevent' having a child with CF, or do we not mess with fate? Will I be able to go back to work after? Do we make enough money on one income if my health declines? Will our families and friends still be supportive if we have two CFers in the family?
It's a lot to think about. Numbers and probabilities start coming in to play such as 1:50, 1:602, or 1:2. Trying to make sense of it all, and trying to make the "right" decision, whatever that may be, is very difficult. I know I've posted about this before (here and here), but it's constantly on my mind and I wish there was an easy answer, but there's not - at least not right now. Isn't everything supposed to happen for a reason?? So, what's supposed to happen? What's the right choice??
By the way, I'm not looking for answers to my questions - I know that this is our choice, and only our choice but this is my way of 'thinking out loud'.