Kinder Quotes

In honor of today being my last day of school, I thought I'd finally share my last compilation of Kinder Quotes from my first class! Enjoy!
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It's the end of the day and we're packing up to go home. It's pretty noisy/chaotic in the room because kids, folders and backpacks are everywhere, when I think I hear a student say, ""Bob" lost his pet. It was in his backpack"
I said, "Excuse me?"
Bob says, "Yeah, it was a cockroach from my grandma's house."
Me: (while trying not to panic) "Where is it??"
Bob: "I don't know." So Bob wanders around the room with his carrying his open backpack looking on the floor for this apparent cockroach.
Finally Bob yells, "I found it!"
Me: "Is it dead or alive???"
Bob: "Alive."
Me: "Step on it!!!"
Well of course Bob crushed the crap out of it....sorry to the night custodian. Gross!!!!!!!!!!!
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Trying to have a serious conversation with my class today about their behavior with a sub:
Me: "Remember last time I was gone and you were so loud."
Student A: "Yeah and Mr. (Principal) had to come down because he could hear us all the way from the office!"
Me: "Yeah...that's not good. I'm so sad that had to happen."
Student B (so innocently says): "Mr. (Principal) has big ears."
And that's when the serious conversation stopped - I could not stop laughing!! Then I had to assure the students that the principal didn't hear them all the way down the hall because he has big ears - it was because they were so loud!
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I introduced the "ee" and "or" Jolly Phonics sounds to my kids. After reading the word 'cork' together, I told them to change the k to an n and they said, "Corn."
I was encouraging them to come up with their own words with those sounds in them and then one student excitedly shouted, "Porn!"
I calmly said, "No, that's not a word." And quickly called on another student before someone else tried to tell me otherwise! :-)
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One of the first students who came into my room (first day back after spring break) popped his head out from around the mailboxes and said, "Ain't nobody got time for that!!" Then just went about his business!
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We were talking about what we were going to get our moms for Mother's Day.
Student A: "Chocolate."
Student B: "A flower and candy."
Student C: "I think I'm going to get a bunny."
Me: "No, this isn't (student name) Day, it's Mothers Day!"
Someone needs to teach that child it is NOT all about her 24/7!!!!
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I cannot wait to have a new class of little jokesters!! I'll have to be better about writing these things down next year because kindergarteners are just hilarious!!! :-) Yay, summer break!!!